Ep 165: Leadership Isn't Talent, It's Daily Practice with Lynne Ghelfi

0:00Nothing in this book takes talent, right? I wouldn't be writing this book if it was all about talent. If you're not influencing others, you're simply going for a walk by yourself. Bet on yourself. That if you don't bet on yourself, no one else should. You're listening to the Limitless Leadership Podcast, the podcast designed to help automotive repair shops learn how to lead, coach, train, and manage their team better by sharing proven techniques and thought-provoking interviews from industry leaders.

0:29Are you ready to transform your leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results? Let's get ready for liftoff. It's time to go from great to greater. Here's today's episode. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. Before we get started, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, do all the things you need to on social media to help this podcast impact people and build leaders just like the leader I'm meeting with today.

1:02My friend, the director of marketing for 2 major dealerships. She is John Maxwell certified as a coach, trainer, and speaker. She's also an upcoming author. In fact, by the time of this recording, fingers crossed, her book, No Talent Required: 12 Daily Practices to Build Culture, Trust, and Performance, may already be released. So, our guest today is my friend, Lynn Gelfi. Lynn, thanks for being here.

1:25Thank you so much for having me, Josh. I'm so excited for today. Well, I am too, and I know our audience, uh, is gonna love this interview, uh, love this conversation. You and I had the opportunity to meet recently, and then we chatted on a discovery call and really, um, enjoyed that conversation. Um, I love the things that you're doing in our fantastic industry, but I'll let you share with, with our audience what that is.

1:48So if you would share with our audience who you are, what you do, and how you do it. Promotive believes great shops deserve great technicians, and they built a recruiting model designed specifically to deliver that. Their team understands today's technician landscape and the challenges shops face trying to hire in a tight labor market. Promotive manages the entire recruiting effort from start to finish.

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3:33Now back to today's episode. Okay. So I have been in automotive for 15 years now and I started in sales. I started back when I was a single mom needing a place to, to land, to feed my family, take care of them. And the auto industry has just been— it's been amazing for me. It really has. And so I've worked up through the ranks, right?

3:58I sold cars, internet manager, BDC manager, finance manager, you name it. I've kind of done it within the sales side of auto. And then in the last few years, I've migrated over to the director of marketing for 2 major dealerships. And what that has allowed me to do is to spend a lot more time with our GM. So, side by side, I've worked with him to really cultivate and grow the team.

4:24And that's when I decided to become John Maxwell certified. And so, back during COVID you know, everything happened during COVID I feel like. So, back during COVID I got certified. And since then, I've been doing a lot of coaching, speaking, and training. To not just people in the automotive space, but throughout the country, and really developing my own leadership skills and building those around me.

4:51And it's been fantastic. It's been such a great experience. It's interesting how, you know, 2020, for a lot of us, that's, that's a major turning point for a lot of folks. And, um, I think there's a lot of time to self-reflect. I mean, we, all of a sudden we had time, um, and there was some self-reflection and there's some realization and even some real acknowledgement that, maybe things could be different.

5:11Things are definitely going to be different because of COVID and what it brought to the world, but in our own personal life internally, maybe things could be different. And it sounds like that's something that maybe you went through as well. You made the decision to get John Maxwell certified. I'm curious, um, well, actually, before I ask the next question, if you would share with the audience, I think most people probably know who John Maxwell is, but How has he and his teachings made an impact on your own life?

5:41Well, John Maxwell is the number one leadership coach in the world, right? He sold like 45 million copies of his book or something crazy. It's wild. But more than just John, it's his entire team and how they've elevated my thinking as a servant leader. And because I truly believe that's what leadership is. Serving the people around you. And, and so it's developed that, but it's also given me the, the drive to go out there and reach as many people as possible.

6:14And that's why I'm writing my book. I'm not writing it to say, hey, here's what I know. I'm saying, hey, here's who I am, and I want to help you. I want to help you grow as a leader and be the best version of yourself as possible. Love that. You know, it's, it's so important that we're able to, um, really make a difference in the lives of those around us.

6:34Um, I believe that we've been called, um, in a number of different ways, and it's up to us to really listen and to obey what God is calling us to do. And, um, you know, I truly believe that there are people in my life that God has put in my life who are depending on me to fulfill God's purpose for my life.

6:50And if you look at it like that, that means that today and tomorrow and every day after that, as long as I get the opportunity to wake up and have another day, I need to show up and provide maximum effort with the best attitude possible because there are people who are depending on us to fulfill God's purpose for our life. And when you talk about impacting people, I mean, I, I love the, the fact that you're, you're using this book as an opportunity to impact people.

7:15And even with Limitless Leadership, like, our mission statement is to reach people and build leaders, and you get to do that through, um, through your book. So I shared the title earlier. It is, uh, No Talent Required: 12 Daily Practices to Build Culture, Trust, and Performance. Could you share with us more about the book? Help us know, like, I, I'm gonna get it, but I, I need the rest of the audience to know why they need to get it.

7:40Shops that thrive long-term aren't the ones with the most tools. They're the ones who've stopped wasting time managing them. TechMetric is the all-in-one auto repair platform that brings shop management, payments, and marketing together so everything works the way it should. Your team works cohesively, your customers come back more often, and you always know exactly how your business is performing. Whether you're leading the shop, managing the front counter, or turning wrenches in the bay, TechMetric gives every person on your team what they need to do their best work.

8:08That's auto repair done right. Visit techmetric.com or use the link in the show notes. All right, folks, as you know, great leadership isn't about doing everything the best. It's actually about having the right partners in your corner to build your shop success. It's about putting the right team in place. It's about choosing the right vendors to make you a pro, making pro moves.

8:28And when I think about the pros, I think about Shop Marketing Pros. The know, like, and trust factor, that's a real thing. And Shop Marketing Pros understands that. That's why I wanna recommend Shop Marketing Pros to become your marketing partner in your shop. They get to know, like, and trust you and your business to then help your audience get to know, like, and trust you too and bring your shop to the next level.

8:51So when I talk about making pro moves, this is the kind of move I'm talking about. This is the kind of standard-setting partnership that's going to elevate your shop. So if you're ready to become a pro in your shop, visit shopmarketingpros.com and partner with the best. Yeah, absolutely. This has been really exciting for me because coming from the car business where there are so many levels of leadership and you see great leaders, you see good leaders, and then you see some really bad leaders.

9:20And so it's allowed me to, to touch so many different individuals. And over the years, I've just been collecting stories. And then as I grew into a coach, I touched so many more, more leaders, right? And What I want people to know is that it's not the smartest person in the room. It's not the richest person in the room, and it's not always the highest title in the room.

9:46You know, a great leader is someone that is intentional, that is consistent, that is empathetic. And all of the values in the book are truly those. They're values. You can grow them, you can develop them, you can work on them as long as you focus. Nothing in this book takes talent, right? Because if it did, I wouldn't be— sorry for all the— All good.

10:08All good. I wouldn't be writing this book if it was all about talent. But this is truly all about intention. And I have seen so many intentional leaders that have leaned in in times like COVID or in crisis or when things need to pivot and change. And they have shown me the way to lead and the way not to lead. And so this book really is a reflection of the way to lead.

10:39Each chapter is a different practice. They all have doables. So in each chapter, there's something that you can take away and use with your team. And then each chapter ends with reflection questions. I really want this to be a book that like Josh, you'll pick up and say, hey, I need you to read this. I need you to read chapter 12 and work on chapter 12.

11:02Or, you know, today I could have done better with my empathy. I'm going to go back to chapter 5. And you can consistently use it to become better and better. That's great. I mean, the frame of reference that you're providing, it's a bit of a training to some degree, um, with the way the book is formatted. And I really love and respect the fact that you are touching on no talent being required, but values are gonna take priority.

11:27And the reason I personally like this is because even in our own coaching with Limitless Leadership, we talk about hiring values over talent. Like we, like we truly pri— it's like, look, talent's important, but values are important. Like put values before talent. Because what happens is you're gonna hire people with who I, I call, we call 'em CIA team members, people who are coachable.

11:49Intelligent, you don't have the right attitude. And coachable people recognize that they have a long way to go and a long way to grow. They recognize that coaching is not criticism, condemnation, and judgment. They recognize it's feedback. They're gonna think like a rookie. They know that they have blind spots and they're receiving coaching as the feedback. And, um, intelligence— I'm not talking about book smarts.

12:07I'm talking about emotional intelligence, like being able to exercise empathy, knowing that empathizing with someone doesn't mean that we necessarily have to experience the same situation as that person. But it does mean that we can imagine their circumstances and accept their feelings without invalidating them. So I'm talking about emotional intelligence and A for attitude. I love to share one of my favorite quotes from Zig Ziglar.

12:26He says, your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. And Lynn, you know, coachable people, emotionally intelligent people, people with a great attitude— the talent can be taught. Um, I mean, absolutely. 15 years ago you got in this industry, and I'm gonna make an assumption. I know I shouldn't, but I'm about to. You may or may not have known a lot about automotive, but not saying, right?

12:49And same, by the way. I mean, you know, I got in about 12 years ago and I didn't know a lot about automotive. And here's the, here's the crazy thing is I still don't know a lot about automotive. I know a lot more than I used to. But in the world that we live in, we are here to serve people, to lead people, to coach, train, and manage people and develop people.

13:09You mentioned, you kind of alluded to what leadership means to you. You talked about servant leadership. If I were to just ask you that direct question, what does leadership mean to you? How would you answer it? You know, leadership is serving others 100%. It's gaining influence because if you're— John Maxwell says it best, if you're not influencing others, you're simply going for a walk by yourself.

13:34And so, you have to have the ability to bring others along on that journey with you. And that's through influence. And what builds influence? It's leading by example. It's being honest and having high integrity. It's practicing empathy, having great communication skills. Again, all things that take no talent, right? And so, as a leader, my number one goal is always to make sure that I'm serving everyone around me and that I'm building the influence for them to come with me on the journey.

14:14Lynn, you kind of touched on this earlier when you alluded to the fact that it really was— it's not about the titles. And, you know, we can lead and influence in any seat that we're in, regardless of the official title that we may or may not have. Can you help the audience understand? By the way, for those listening, you can also watch this episode on YouTube if you go to YouTube @TheBeardedLeader, you can find this episode and many more.

14:42So I would encourage you to tune in and watch this episode as well. But can you, can you share with the audience, let's say someone is, they don't have the official leader title, but they, but they need to understand that they can still influence, they're still a leader. Speak to, speak to that person who might be questioning or doubting whether or not they truly have the ability to influence from the seat that they're in without the formal title?

15:11I'm going to tell a story from my book, if that's okay. Please do. Yes, that'd be great. Because I think that it truly explains a leader from a position of absolutely no leadership. So, I was probably in 10th grade and I was walking by my dad's bedroom and he owned 48 restaurants at the time. Was doing very well, so I thought. And I heard him crying, just sobbing.

15:40And as I stopped and listened to him, I was just kind of shocked because I didn't know what was going on. And then come to find out, he had lost everything overnight. We had completely lost everything. In my mind, it was overnight because I was young, right? And so what came Next was we lost our house. And I just remember the morning we were moving out and we were going down the highway.

16:09All of our stuff was stacked on this truck in front of us, and I'm just quiet. And all of a sudden, my favorite chair from my bedroom that I used to sit and read in came flying off the truck and crashed on the highway. And it was like one of those moments of, My life just crumbled. Like, it's never going to be what it was.

16:32So, over time, we started to kind of get our footing in our new place, and my dad got a job in the car business. He had been in the car business in the '60s and right back at it because that's what you do, right? So, he went back to it and he was selling big body trucks, delivering them, and the delivery guy was very slow.

16:51He was really holding up business for my dad. And my dad asked my mom once, hey, can you deliver this truck to Boston? It's a quick route. You'll be back in a couple hours. She did it. My dad was like, you're already back? And with that, my mom stepped into a leadership role. She was a stay-at-home mom. She had not worked since she was in her teens.

17:14She didn't know what she was doing. She hired a team, mostly friends and family, and all these women, they all came together. She put together schedules, deliveries, explained the trucks, got paperwork signed, picked up checks, and drove across the country day after day after day. And she, although my dad was back at work, she's the one that rebuilt our family. That's incredible.

17:38With, with no talent required. Let me ask you, what are the skills? What are the, what are the values or the attributes of your mother that, that allowed her to be successful in the new unexpected role that she just took on that way? She stepped up and showed courage, right? And as a young person or someone from a non-leadership role, stepping up and speaking your voice, practicing every day the leader that you want to be— I always say step into the role before you get the role.

18:13Elaborate on that. So, so when I say that, lead from the position that you are. If you want to be in charge, first make sure that you're in charge of yourself. And that you're doing everything that needs to be done as a leader and that you're practicing what you're then saying to others. But when you lead from the front, no matter what your title is, people will emulate you.

18:35Sorry. They see what you're doing and they say, oh, Josh, he's making all this money. He's doing great. He's being recognized. I want that. And then, they step up. And they step in. So, even if you don't have the position, just show the courage. Show the empathy for others. Practice your communication skills because when you can communicate up the ladder your goals and what you stand for, that's recognized.

19:09That's strong. You talked about stepping in. Acting with courage. I believe that courage is moving amidst the fear, not the absence of fear. But we know that the similarity between faith and fear is that they both believe in a future that hasn't happened yet. And we know that where there's faith, there's also fear. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a cause for faith. Why am I sharing all this?

19:35Because I think it's okay to have this healthy, healthy, keyword healthy, dose of fear. Um, it, it keeps that fire lit, but also faith is gonna trump fear any day, you know, as long as we allow that to be the case. And, and by the way, I love that, that you, that you mentioned being in charge of yourself, uh, taking care of yourself.

19:55I'm, I'm a big believer in, in self-care, um, even before others, like meaning I'm gonna, I'm gonna, um, serve or lead from the inside out. Like I'm gonna first serve myself. So that I can serve those around me. And, and even, you know, in our industry, in the automotive repair industry, a lot of what we talk about is, is serving your guests.

20:18Of course, we wanna serve our guests. We wanna serve our guests well. I personally believe, Lynn, that we wanna serve ourself, then our team, then our guests. The reason for this is because if I'm expected to be formally leading other people, but I'm struggling with leading myself, how am I gonna be effective? Um, yeah. Could, yeah. And if you're not practicing, um, and if you're not practicing what you're saying, hey Josh, you need to be on time every day, and then I'm not on time every day, who, who's going to listen?

20:45And I always think of it as putting your mask, your oxygen mask on first. Yes, I love that. So I, I use that analogy often. Do you? Yeah, yeah. And it's important. You want to put your oxygen mask on first. So you want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself, you're practicing every day, you know. One of the things I love that John says is he does 5 things every single day to make him a stronger leader.

21:09And what are your 5? What are your 5 that you're doing consistently every single day? Because my 5 might be different than yours, but are they moving you forward every day? And are you doing them every day? And so I think that just starting with that small act and seeing if you can go 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, well, now you're leading yourself.

21:32Now you're leading yourself. I'm going to put you on the spot, Lynn. Do you, do you have your 5? Like, do you know your 5? I do. Yes. Share them if you don't mind. So, so I write every single day. And when I say I write, it's not just my book. I, uh, write in my journal. I write letters. I am an old school girl that loves to send 2 to 3 letters a week to friends.

21:56So I am writing in some form every single day. Um, on top of that, I do like silent quiet time. And what I mean by that is no sound, no TV, no reading, no anything. And I just think. I think and I pray and I just have like that white, white time, that empty time. So my reading, my writing, my thinking and praying, um, I read every day.

22:27Now, do I always read leadership books and my Bible verse for the day? No, I read all kinds of stuff. I read fiction, I read nonfiction, I read all kinds. So, but I read every day, and I think that's really important just to keep our mind strong. I exercise every day in some fashion. I am exercising, and then I practice my communication.

22:52And this is kind of an odd one because I do it 2 different ways. And so by the end of this, don't call me a crazy bird lady. So I practice talking. I really do practice communicating. And that can be with someone else, that can be just out loud with a couple different apps that I have, or me reciting something like a poem or a passage so I can speak clearly and others can understand what I'm trying to say.

23:25And then I practice intentional listening. And I do this when I walk in the morning with my dog and she's not talking to me. But what I do is I have an actual app and I turn it on and it hears all the bird sounds and I'm completely quiet for 2 miles. I don't answer phone calls, I don't listen to music. And all I do is try and hear the different sounds from all the different ear directions.

23:56And as it picks it up, then I see what they are. But what that allows me to do is be so honed in on one thing. Because, you know, when you're in a conversation like you and I, Josh, if we're talking and I go ahead and start listening to someone over here talking, I'm no longer focused on you. And it's very hard.

24:17I find it hard. I don't know about you, to stay locked in on one person for a long time. And so I work on it because it's really important to me as a leader that you feel heard and that I hear what you're saying. First, Lynn, thank you for sharing all 5 of those. I commend you and applaud you for the intentionality and the consistency to do these things.

24:40It's one thing to to do it every once in a while. It's another thing to do it every single day. And, and, and I know, I mean, I don't even have to ask. I already know that you've seen tremendous growth because of your consistency in the things that you're doing. I love the fact that you are actively working on practicing your communication.

24:57You, you referenced that earlier and I was like, I might ask her about how she does that. You just answered that question that didn't get asked. Yeah. But when you talk about intentional listening and how important that is, You know, as a coach, it's important that we are showing how to show up, like we're actively listening. Um, I mean, you and I can see each other through the computer screen right now, and we're making the eye contact.

25:18There's the body language, there's the smiles, and smiles produce other smiles. And as a coach, it's important that our recipient, our client, our leader, whoever we're coaching, sees how engaged we are and how we're showing up for them because Even without saying anything, just the fact that we're listening and actively showing up this way tells them that they're heard, understood, acknowledged, respected, cared for, loved, validated, all of the above.

25:45So I commend you for that. I think listening is, is, is really a lost art. Uh, I mean, especially like this day and age, everybody's got to say something. Like, here I am like rambling. And so I'm going to stop. I promise here in a second, but you're good. You're good at listening and you're doing a great job of it. But everybody's got to say something.

26:05Everyone's got an opinion. And, you know, what we learn in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, among many things, is if there's one thing everybody loves to talk about, it's themselves. And if we can just show up and listen and ask questions about that person, we can be interested instead of being focused on being interesting. A lot can change in both of the lives of people who are communicating.

26:33You know, it's funny that you say that because I was recently at a location, one of my coaching customers. And when I was done with my one-on-ones, I went back into her office to kind of debrief her on the day. And she said, you get so much more information out of my team than I do. What do you do? I'm like, I listen.

26:55Like, I was like, I don't know. There's no trick to it. I just listen. I ask the right questions and I listen, I guess. And she was like, like I unlocked this whole new world. But yeah, it truly is a lost art. And communication is great. A lot of great leaders are such good communicators. They can talk, they can give a great meeting, they can stand and give a speech, they can motivate you to the top of the hill.

27:22But one of the things that a lot of leaders today are missing is the connection. And I really think the connection comes in when Lynn is thinking about Josh and what Josh needs, what he wants, what he's thinking, and how I can make Josh feel, and less about how Lynn is trying to convey her word. I could not agree more. I'm going to ask you, how do we become better at connecting with those that we're leading?

27:52My biggest thing is curiosity. I, you know, curiosity killed the cat, but I think that it's also one of the greatest things that you can do as a leader to ask as many questions and good questions as possible. Stop asking, how are you? Like, no one, we don't want to hear, how are you? We want to hear, because what happens is like you're walking through the shop or the office and you're like, hey, Lynn, how are you?

28:18And you, what do you do? You keep walking. And then you're answering someone's back. Yeah. And it's like, I'm good. And then you just sit back down. Instead, stop and say, hey Josh, I love your shirt. What does this stand for? And then you have a conversation going. Or, hey Josh, you know, how are the kids? How's the family? Did you guys have a great weekend?

28:37What'd you do? Tell me something you did. Yeah. And really isolating something you can ask that specific person that's going to be different than the next person? And then you're, you're digging in a little bit. And also come up with questions. I try and challenge myself because it's natural to say, how are you? But I always challenge myself to either ask a second question or not ask that one at all and ask something else.

29:04And one of the practices you can do is write down 100 questions that are not, how are you? That's powerful. Um, I love the fact that you're asking questions also that warrant more than just a yes or no response. Um, being able to ask questions that start with what, where, why, when, who, or how. Um, you're always gonna get more. Um, the fact that you're focusing on connection over content, I think is fantastic.

29:26And then I love the fact that you mentioned curiosity and the importance of asking the right questions. What I see often, I know you see this too, Lynn, is there's, there's a lot of leaders who are so focused on providing directive after directive after directive, but all they're doing is telling that person. They're not sharing. They're not asking questions. They're not teaching.

29:45It's about telling. And ideally, we get to, as leaders, we get to create safety and trust so that we can provide clarity and direction, not necessarily directives, but direction. And I think the best way to provide direction is actually through questions, staying curious, listening. Um, quite frankly, just asking a question and being able to just stop, like just shut our mouth and let— just listen.

30:09Yeah, it's huge because sometimes when you ask the question, you find out they either know more or that maybe your direction wasn't what you wanted it to be, that you didn't paint the right direction. And so, I always tell leaders, when you're explaining something to someone, set them up for success. Explain it. Ask them to paint the picture back to you. Then, ask them some questions and have them ask you some questions.

30:37And now, you're collaborating. You're not just giving direction. That's powerful. Lynn, thank you for this interview. Thank you for showing up and listening and asking me some questions and sharing with the audience that I know they're going to walk away better than before. Before we go, I do have a final question for you. What is the best advice that you've ever received from a coach or a mentor?

31:05You know, I would say I've gotten a lot of advice and I have some really great mentors in my life. But I would say the number one piece of advice is to bet on yourself. That if you don't bet on yourself, no one else should. You have to bet on yourself. And that comes down to like just stepping in and in that fear, in that, you know, those moments, just being scared, step into the courage and just do it scared.

31:37Um, as a, as a still, as a fairly new entrepreneur, I still consider myself a new entrepreneur. I've been doing this for just over 3 years. But when you say bet on yourself, that is, I mean, it resonates with me because I have bet on myself and continue to bet on myself. And there's a, what I've learned, Lynn, is I, there's a fine line between courageous and crazy.

32:00And it's like, there's a fine, fine line. And, uh, because on the one hand, it's like I almost have this sense of like blind optimism. It's like, you know, I don't know what I don't know, and I'm not smart enough to like really understand this is probably not the wisest decision, but I'm gonna figure it out, and I'm gonna keep on exercising faith over fear.

32:19And it has not been easy. It's been incredibly challenging, easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Um, despite the relative success that we've had, but it's just all about betting on yourself, exercising faith over fear, really exercising that courage that you talked about. And I can tell you that it has been the— that while it has been one of the most challenging things I've ever done, it's been one of the most incredibly rewarding things I've ever done.

32:42And I would not have been able to meet incredible people like yourself and so many others in this industry and even outside of this industry. And so for that, I just wanna say thank you. Um, thank you for the job that you're doing in the industry. Thank you for the impact that you're making. Thank you for, um, betting on yourself and developing yourself and going getting John Maxwell certified.

33:03I mean, to me, that's such a, um, such an important thing. I mean, he is the, like, he's the GOAT, the number one leadership coach in the world. And, uh, to learn from the best is always, um, you know, you can't go wrong there. So, um, of course, I want to thank you so much for your time too. And I want to make a side note.

33:20So you've seen people walk in and out, right? And one of the things as a leader is making sure you're accessible. And I'm in the general manager's office. I use it when I'm at this location, and he has doors on both sides for people to come through, and we never shut the doors. So the door being shut today is new, and that's why people are walking through.

33:41But, um, it doesn't matter. We keep ourselves 100% accessible to the people so everyone can come in and ask questions. And I love that, and I wouldn't change that. It's why I didn't put a note on the door. So that's good. I just want you to know. Yeah, I do too. And so I wanted to just make that side note. But thank you so much for your time today.

34:01I've really enjoyed this, and I appreciate you. Likewise, Lynn. I appreciate you. Um, thank you for being here, and thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. As you know, we look to transform our leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. So thanks again for being here. Have a great day, everyone. Don't forget to smile today.

34:20Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. I'm Josh Parnell reminding you to keep bleeding well.