Ep 171: How Emotional Intelligence Makes Better Leaders with Dan Taylor

0:00So, the whole power of peers group mentality is iron sharpens iron as one person sharpens another from a very famous parable. It's all about people. I said, it's an HR puzzle. This whole thing now in your life is an HR puzzle, right? If you get your SOPs in place and everything else fundamentally we should have in place for a well-run organization, then it really is just people.

0:23We're all the way just the fundamentals about people. Every time I meet with somebody, I think, how can I speak greatness into them? You're listening to the Limitless Leadership Podcast, the podcast designed to help automotive repair shops learn how to lead, coach, train, and manage their team better by sharing proven techniques and thought-provoking interviews from industry leaders. Are you ready to transform your leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results?

0:50Let's get ready for liftoff. It's time to go from great to greater. Here's today's episode. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. Before we get started, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, do all the things you need to on social media to help this podcast impact people and build leaders just like the leader I have in front of me today.

1:17My friend, my main man, the Chief Learning Officer and Performance Coach for Power Peer Group, Empowered Peer Groups, Mr. Dan Taylor. Dan, thanks for being here, man. Josh, what a pleasure. It's been great to get to know you, not only through other people over the last year or two, but, uh, you and I get to spend a little bit of time a couple weeks ago chatting, and what turned out to be— was supposed to be a short conversation, ended up being pretty extended.

1:39And, uh, just, it was blessing chatting with you, and, and, uh, we're so aligned on so many things. Just, I've been looking forward to us talking. Well, the feeling is mutual, Dan. Um, I've really, um, taken a lot of pleasure in getting to know who you are from afar. I mean, I've been following you on social media for a while, and, um, and so finally to be able to connect with you via Zoom not too long ago, um, all of my suspicions rang true.

2:02You really are a great guy, um, and, and we're aligned in a lot of ways, as you, as you mentioned. I, I'm really excited to continue to learn more about you. I'm excited for our audience to get to know who you are if they don't already know who you are. Um, so go ahead and share with the audience who you are, what you do, and how you do it.

2:17All right, folks, as you know, great leadership isn't about doing everything the best. It's actually about having the right partners in your corner to build your shop success. It's about putting the right team in place. It's about choosing the right vendors to make you a pro, making pro moves. And when I think about the pros, I think about Shop Marketing Pros. The know, like, and trust factor, that's a real thing, and Shop Marketing Pros understands that.

2:41That's why I wanna recommend Shop Marketing Pros to become your marketing partner in your shop. They get to know, like, and trust you and your business to then help your audience get to know, like, and trust you too, and bring your shop to the next level. So when I talk about making pro moves, this is the kind of move I'm talking about.

2:59This is the kind of standard-setting partnership that's gonna elevate your shop. So if you're ready to become a pro in your shop, visit shopmarketingpros.com and partner with the best. This episode is brought to you by Limitless Leadership because great teams don't happen by accident. They're led on purpose. If you're tired of wearing all the hats, putting out fires, and wondering why your team won't step up, Limitless Leadership is for you.

3:23They help leaders transition from player to coach who develop people and multiply impact through in-person or online leadership training like the Limitless Leadership Blueprint or their Roots to Results coaching method. Their services are designed to help you tap into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results and help you create safety and trust in order to provide clarity and direction. So if you're ready to stop managing chaos and start leading with purpose, head to limitlessleadership.co to book a complimentary discovery call today.

3:53Yeah, well, I appreciate that. Um, so everybody knows my name, Dan Taylor. Uh, you know, I kind of an interesting way of, of kind of how where I got to be where I am now. I I was corporate 500 kind of guy and was moving up the ladder at FedEx many, many moons ago. And they had moved me like 11 times in 10 years.

4:16And I went, you know what? This is nuts. I was raising my little brother who, after my mother passed away, and he'd already gone to like 4 schools in 5 years. And I said, you know what? We're going to get off this thing. And then kind of rotated through a couple other businesses, was actually with a couple other Fortune 500 companies, had a lot of success there.

4:35And then I found myself, yeah, there were some tragic things that happened in my life and I ended up finding myself in a, just an awkward position. So I started doing coaching and sales, consultative sales approach, right? And most of my early days with background was B2B, but I certainly have always appreciated it. And I think really great shops in our industry do a consultative sales approach where it's need-based, not trying to convince somebody to do something that they really didn't, but helping them through an education process and then obviously overcoming some objections as things go along.

5:10But I ended up just accidentally getting into this where I was working with a small business who we did— this guy, this particular guy, and he just sold his business a couple years ago, did conferences for, in the sports vernacular, clinics. So During our— my tenure with them, we grew it from 11 to 50 clinics around the country with over 50,000 attendees every year.

5:35And it was all bulk though. It was from March to, or I'm sorry, January, February, March when the college guys and the pro guys aren't working and the high school guys and the college guys have some time off. So they have these educational conferences. So it's all bulked in about 6 months. So you have the the building up to it, you do these conferences and then you're done.

5:57And the guy I worked with at the time, Chris, said, you know, you're really a talented guy. Why don't you make yourself available to the vendors? So I ended up doing a bunch of coaching and consulting with vendors and then kind of branched out from that. And then I ran into a guy that actually had a couple shops and I worked with him on some fleet maintenance stuff.

6:21What is now one of the world's largest fleet maintenance organizations. So between my FedEx days and I also worked for a dealership group putting in service bays and we had 29 people in like 13 states. So I got real familiar with all that world. It was just kind of a natural match with the automotive world. And then I went and did some other things.

6:43I actually probably most of my coaching consulting career has been with the medical field. So physical therapists, orthopedic doctors, dentist groups, and the whatnot. And then manufacturers. I ended up having probably— I probably worked with 100 different organizations in these different verticals, but I always kind of end up back with the automotive world. So years ago, I got connected with another organization and we built some things out.

7:10And then I kind of went out on my own after a period of time. So now I'm fortunate. I'm really humbled and honored. I have about 130 people I work with. Um, uh, as leaders. They're, they're all leaders, uh, multi-shop and single shop. And, uh, also have a Women of Influence group. So there's 23 gals that participate in that. That's a virtual group.

7:32So I have owners all the way down to service advisors, and we just talk about leadership stuff. And I'm the only guy in the group. So it's an interesting perspective. My wife's in the group, so she kind of co-facilitates. And I don't pretend to understand some of the challenges, but I certainly have an appreciation for gals in our industry. And I'm a big proponent.

7:51I mean, some of the very best operators and business acumen and people skills and everything else are gals, women and professional women. They just do a dynamic job. So I have live groups that I— that we facilitate and move around. And so that's kind of where I am today. That's why a little bit of coaching here and here, here and there. But generally speaking, it's facilitating these groups.

8:18And then polishing each other. So, the whole power peers group mentality is iron sharpens iron as one person sharpens another from a very famous parable. But I'm a facilitator, right? I'm always learning. And hence, even my title that I kind of crown myself with, the Chief Learning Officer. I'm always learning. I mean, I learn something at every single meeting. You know, my wife always kids, how's your meeting?

8:46I have great meetings. I love my meetings. I love the people I work with, and it just energizes me. And this industry, Josh, are we fortunate enough or what, right? Some of the best salt-of-the-earth people. Yes. You heard me earlier. I work with some of the smartest people on the planet, and these people are smart in their own respect, and they are flexible, and they They provide an awesome, honorable service to our communities and our country and our individual people.

9:17It's just awesome. And they're just some of the best people I've ever got a chance to work with. They're very humble and appreciative. So anyways, that's where I am. Running a shop is hard enough without juggling 5 different tools that don't talk to each other. TechMetric is the all-in-one auto repair platform that brings every part of your business together. Shop management, payments, and marketing in one place with one login and one team behind you.

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11:20Dan, thank you for sharing all that. I don't have to tell you as a coach, you already know this. Um, One of the most rewarding things about coaching others is the, the things that we get to learn from them as well. It's not a one-way street. I mean, every single coaching call I'm on, I get to learn from somebody else as well, and, and, and I get paid for it too.

11:41I mean, like, what kind of— like, how do I have this type of amazing career? But hey, I really appreciate you sharing. So your Women of Influence group, I didn't know about this, and this is exciting for me because my wife, Sean Vieille, is our director of cognitive performance, and she just recently rolled out the Limitless Ladies Collective. So what she's doing with Limitless Leadership is she is, um, essentially it's another branch of Limitless Leadership where, um, she's providing a platform, building a community of women who are, um, either owners or maybe they are wives of owners Um, you know, something that she and I have personally, um, grown through over the last few years

12:24is just her being the wife of an entrepreneur. Um, this is still fairly new for us because 3 years ago I was working a great corporate job, working with Christian Brothers Automotive as the head trainer there at the, at the corporate office. Well, then I felt like God was calling me out of that great organization into, into something that was quite, quite frankly, a little terrifying.

12:43I mean, I, I don't know what he was calling me into, but I know he was calling me into something. So I'm doing my best to listen and obey. Well, here we are 3 years later, and, you know, as any entrepreneurship can tell you, it's, it's not easy. And there's— it's kind of this roller coaster. If you're listening to this episode, you can watch this episode on YouTube.

13:01Go to @thebeardedleader, and you can see this episode and many more. But you can see my hand going up and down, kind of describing the trajectory of— it's a roller coaster ride. Absolutely. Yeah. And, and Dan, you know, I mean, when it's good, it's good, and when it's bad, That's when we start having these thoughts and these questions. Did I do the right thing?

13:20Did I make the right move? Am I on the right path? Thankfully, um, you know, God continues to provide. But one of the things that we've had to learn through is what is it like for her to still be the glue for our family? Because quite frankly, she is. I mean, as I'm trying to grow and scale Limitless Leadership, um, I mean, we have 4 kids.

13:42Uh, we have another business that we're also trying to scale. I mean, we have a life and, and Jeanvier thankfully is the glue that holds all of us together. Oh yeah. So for her to create something for women who are feeling the same thing she feels, uh, it's, it's already starting to pick up quite a bit of steam. So I'm excited. Oh, absolutely.

13:59Fantastic. Yeah. We'll have to chat some more. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm laughing to myself, Josh, because women, moms are the glue to all society, right? Yeah. Mother's Day is a national holiday. We're coming up on Father's Day. Guys, you go cook your own burger. That's right. We'll do something for you, but it is not— I have gotten drilled for having meetings anywhere close to Mother's Day because it really is a celebrated day because of just the continuity and impact and everything that the gals in our lives bring us.

14:33Yeah, us guys, we'd be a lot lost without females in our lives. Oh, 100%. Dan, you know what's funny is we just had a Limitless Leadership just did a day of development training at Tech Metrics office back in May. The initial date that I had chosen happened to fall on Mother's Day weekend. And so, um, immediately I'm like, we can't do that weekend.

14:53So I chose the weekend that was 2 weekends or, uh, 2, 2 weeks later. Yeah. Well, that happened. I didn't know until later, but that happened to be Memorial Day weekend. And so Mother's Day trumped, uh, Memorial Day, uh, weekend in terms of— Absolutely. Training. But thankfully we still filled the room. It was a great training. Um, yeah, that's awesome. Let me ask you, because one of the things that Limitless Leadership just started implementing is a level of— it's a hybrid coaching where it's half of it is group coaching and half of it is one-on-one coaching.

15:25Because up until recently, the bulk of our business was all on one-on-one coaching. It's this intimate one-on-one connection with the leader. You focus primarily with groups. Can you speak to the concept of iron sharpening iron and the impact that you're able to have as a group facilitator as opposed to just a one-on-one coach? Well, I would submit I don't have probably a ton of influence other than I do, I think one of my giftings was I really can do a great job facilitating a meeting.

15:58And most of that's question asking, right? Like, I'm learning too. So, I was never an industry guy. I don't, even now don't claim to know. I mean, I know my numbers and I can hang with most of the guys. Operationally. But I never held my hat on that. It's more on, you know, I'm a student, help me understand what you're doing. And then let's all compare notes, right?

16:22Let's sharpen each other, help each other. So a lot of these groups and some of the other folks in the industry, we have some great ones that do this. You know, a lot of it does come down to relational stuff. They talk to each other offline. I have Slack channels and everybody exchanges notes on those. If somebody's got a question, a concern, they'll pop it up there and then people will respond or they'll connect offline.

16:47So, yeah, it's an interesting thing on the group coaching. You know, I do monthly connects and sometimes there's a, you know, I'll put up who's got a challenge or whatnot. But a lot of it's just, you know, I also taught elementary for 4 years. So, that was also a great experience in understanding You know, how do you get group learning, right? Yeah.

17:09Because ultimately we're just trying to help you guys learn. Sometimes, you know, the answer, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you need to reconfirm that what your instincts are telling you, that that's the direction you want to go. I probably emphasize a lot on the soft skills, right? Or essential skills, EQ stuff. I love the term that came out a couple of years ago, power skills, because that's kind of machismo for our industry.

17:34So, hey, we've got power skills going. There's such an impact on, and your wife being, you know, a professional in this area, there's so much that goes on in our headspace that if we don't get that working on, if people are receptive to that, then a lot of times you don't get much growth or movement. And back to the one-on-ones, those are awesome.

17:56But, you know, having a room of multiple people with experiential stuff, skill sets, your own impressions. You might have blind spots you don't see. I mean, there's so many things that come up in those meetings, a group setting that I could never unearth by myself. And then other times, you know, fair enough, one-on-one. Some people are just built more one-on-one. They'll be more open with you one-on-one.

18:22They'll share some of their challenges one-on-one. You can speak more candidly into their life. Um, versus in a group. And of course, I'm very sensitive about that. I, I'm never calling people out in public or anything. Yeah. Um, you know, uh, participation or anything else. But I don't, I don't know if I fully answered your question on that. You did, and I appreciate you sharing that.

18:43And I'm the same way. I don't, I don't voluntell anybody to, you know, on, on a, on a group call or even at a training. Yeah. And I'll, I'll offer, uh, to, you know, if anyone would like to share. But, um, a lot of folks don't They're not yet ready to share something that might, uh, introduce vulnerability for them in a room full of others.

19:02Um, but I do, I do agree with you. Multiple minds are better than one, and we can go fast alone, but we can go way further together. So when we have a group together, that's truly where you're seeing the iron sharpening each other's iron, and incredible things can take place. That's why I love the hybrid style that we just introduced, and the industry is really starting to take note of it as well.

19:20Um, let me ask you, Dan, I mean, I, you know, one of the first questions I ask every guest on every episode is, what does leadership mean to you? I view you as a leadership coach in our industry. There's not a lot of us out there who are like dedicated leadership coaches. There's a lot of, um, coaches who are, uh, speaking to the operational-based side of things, the KPIs.

19:39And I, I, I know you can do that as well, but I do appreciate the fact that your, uh, your focus is on the soft skills or the power skills as, as you shared. That's new to me. The power of people, right? Just people, right? That's it. We're a people business. At the end of the day, this is a people business. I know we work on inanimate objects and we fix them, but at the end, we really are.

20:02And it's interesting. I had— I'll answer that question. I had somebody who recently, the last couple months, got kind of introduced into the multi-shop where there are over 40, 50 people. And they said, holy mackerel, this is like, it's all about people. I said, it's an HR puzzle. This whole thing now in your life is an HR puzzle, right? If you get your SOPs in place and everything else fundamentally we should have in place for a well-run organization, then it really is just people.

20:31We're all the way, just the fundamentals about people. Your question was, what was my, my, what is my What does leadership mean to you? How would you answer that question? Yeah, man, that's a complicated question. We discussed this a little bit. I struggle with probably a lot of cognitive or a Dunning-Kruger effect on this where, man, I've been studying this for years and years.

20:58Our listeners probably don't know this, but there are 50,000 to 60,000 books written on leadership. And then if you take a major component, maybe a third or half the book has to do with leadership principles, you're into hundreds of thousands of books. So, by no means have we somehow narrowed the scope of what leadership means or what it's all about. I had a guy interview me a couple years ago about this.

21:30And I said, leadership to me is trying to not be a chameleon, but meet people where they're at. And sometimes that's— and, and I know this, this has been the big popular thing the last 15 years— be a servant leader. Well, that's great, but, you know, all the, all the studies and, and research— I'm a very data-driven research analyst kind of guy— um, there are pros and cons to every single leadership model or leadership style.

21:57So, you know, the servant leader can also be taken advantage of. And that's something I have to be cognizant of because I have codependency tendencies where I will go rescue somebody. And that happens in coaching. I'll get myself involved because I want the person to succeed and I care more about them succeeding sometimes than themselves because I see the potential, which is one of my other great, just natural aptitudes.

22:25So trying to be who you need to be in the moment, situational, circumstantial, with the person, with their personality, it is a really complex question you just asked. So I try to be the leader that the moment's calling for with the people that are in it and the circumstances dictate. Dan, let me ask you, 'cause you just said something that's really key, and it's that you have the ability to see the potential in others that maybe they don't yet see.

22:54As a coach, that's a tremendous skillset to have because that's really what our responsibility is, right, is to help people discover the answers that they already have within them and help them tap into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. Let me ask you kind of a broad question, but how do you do that? How do you pull out something that someone already has in them that they don't yet see?

23:17Uh, I'll, I'll steal a quote, or, and, uh, from, from, from a guy who's been a great mentor, friend, coach to me, uh, Coach Rod Olson, Coach O, he's known by Coach O. And speaking greatness into people is a trademark type thing he has. He's wrote 3 books and he coaches the Navy SEALs, he coaches Special Forces, he coaches professional teams, not the team, but the coaches and the executive level folks for those programs and has for years.

23:49And he and I have been journeying through life for about 25 years plus now. And I remember every time I meet with somebody, I think, how can I speak greatness into them? What is it they don't see for themselves right now? I'll give you an example this morning. I asked a guy, and it's one of my, one of the guys I work with is a single shop.

24:07He's the owner. And I said, what do you value your per hour value of proposition you bring to the company? He gave me a number. And he looked at me and goes, it should be higher, huh? And I said, oh yeah. And then he gave me a higher number. And I said, this is where I see you, okay? You're an X number dollar guy because in a couple years you're going to have multiple shops and be a dominant force in your market.

24:35And I need you to run that through your filter. We were talking about the Eisenhower matrix with the urgent versus important stuff. And I said that I need you to put those lenses on because that's where you're going. That's where I'm going. That's where you're going, right? I'm hanging out with you because that's where you want to go and that's where I see you going.

24:54But part of it was a little bit of mindset shift. So I just speak some greatness into him. This guy absolutely has the tools. He's got great EQ. He's smart. He's, uh, he's got great work ethic. Um, he's got everything he needs. He's just got to continue to surround himself with the right people. And start putting himself in that position where he's making decisions and prioritizing and actions based on what the value he needs to add to the entire organization, not today, but next year, in 3 years, and 5 years from now.

25:27So, we had a great conversation about that. Hopefully, that somewhat gives you a little bit of a tool I use in my own head or, you know, lens I use. How can I speak greatness into this person? What do they not see that they, where they can get to? And just keep reinforcing it over and over again. When we remember that we're always going to find evidence in the things that we believe, it's a good reminder to us that sometimes we might be operating under limiting beliefs.

25:52So if I believe I can only achieve X, Y, and Z, I will find evidence that supports that limiting belief. So it's up to me to then be able to challenge my thoughts, question my thoughts, because one of the greatest mistakes any of us can make is assuming all of our thoughts are true. Now, a lot of this does fall in line with some EQ.

26:09You've talked about EQ already a couple times. Um, a lot of us might be familiar with IQ, but EQ is emotional intelligence. Can you speak to the listening audience about what EQ really is and how you've adapted this into your own coaching? Okay. Um, wow. Well, one, it's, it's another one of those that has thousands, hundreds of thousands of books written on it.

26:31Yeah. Um, it, it comes down to 2 things, right? You've got interpersonal, uh, skills, which is you and your mankind and around you and all those interactions. And then you have intrapersonal skills, which is your voice in your own head. And, and we know this from a lot of research. I, I'm not a guy who just throws out stuff. I have opinions, but most of the stuff's very, very research-based, right?

26:56We know, in fact, uh, Southern California just did a recent study, uh, last year. That we have 60,000 to 100,000 thoughts that are in. I don't know how, and they don't sit there with a clicker, but somehow they know that. We also know from research that about 85% of those are a conversation with ourselves. Then if you go further down that rabbit trail, and I know your wife probably also shared some of this stuff with you, you know, unfortunately, if we describe negative thoughts of, and this is kind of the And I've done this with hundreds of people in workshops, and it always comes out the same.

27:32They already know the answer to this question. Yeah, I'm judging myself. I'm judging someone else, or I'm judging the situation. I think I know what somebody else should do, even though it's none of my business. Right? I'm making a judgment call on something that I don't have the inkling idea of all the information or material that's needed to make an assessment of that.

27:56But I'm conjuring up thoughts or I just plain have negative thoughts, right? Well, research shows us the average is 80% of our thoughts are negative. They fall into that category that's not helpful. It's not, it doesn't give us energy. It's not good for relationships. That's the average, which means that's the mean. Half of the people are on the other side of that.

28:18And I fight that every day. We all do, right? Because just, it's life, right? It's part of being a human, humanity. And then on top of that, we also know research shows 98% of our thoughts are the same darn thoughts we had the day before. So it's this vicious circle, and I appreciate everything you guys do. And a lot of your emphasis is on changing that mindset, changing self-identity, capturing those thoughts.

28:43So I spent a lot of time in those categories. And then, then that's just in your own head. Now we got to go work with other people, right? So, you know, the interpersonal skills is your communication skills, your listening skills, understanding the person's motive, you know, the Liska conflict resolution, all that stuff falls in that category. So, and we also know research.

29:06And again, I keep throwing out research because I do. I want to understand that these are things that make the biggest difference. So you, you can coach people on numbers till the cows come home, and if they're a difficult person to work with, they can't deliver the information accurately, they, they can't— they don't have influence, which in my opinion is a great overriding, uh, word for leadership, is you influence somebody.

29:31And it could be positive or negative. Some of the greatest leaders in the last 100 years were not very good people, but they influenced people, right? Is, you know, if you can't do those things very well, then you're still not going to have a very good success rate. And I know there's some exceptions to the rule. Musk is one of them. Steve Jobs was another one.

29:51Those guys were probably on the spectrum somehow, and they're horses' derrières to work with, but they have surrounded themselves with quality people that get along with other people. And so then they filter it out or dilute it down. And they're able to get great performance out of people. But we know roughly 58% of your job performance is related to people skills and your own TED Talk.

30:16So, hopefully, I somewhat summarized an 8-hour workshop that I have in about 4 minutes. But it's those 2 big categories and they matter a lot. And they matter a lot to the success not only on a personal level, but also on a professional level. I, I, the studies are all mostly done on the work side, but, but I would just submit if it's, life is mixed together.

30:40This is where females have it right. You know, it's a bowl of spaghetti. Guys can do the waffle thing, right? We can compartmentalize much better than our counterparts. But at the end of the day, they're right. It all gets mixed together. And I've never seen one instant where somebody's a superstar at work. And they're a complete jerk at home and it somehow magically goes along.

31:02No, you end up divorced. You alienate your children, whatever that is. Or you flip it, right? Things are all jacked up at home and you take it to work with you and where you could really, really be successful. I'll give you a quick example. Had a guy that they thought it was a work challenge. So I'm working with him one-on-one and he had an unbelievable tragedy.

31:24In his life. And we start talking about that stuff and I could, unfortunately, I could relate because the exact same thing happened to me. And, um, it turns out he's not got a work performance issue at all. The guy's a rock star at work. He hasn't been able to process all this and he's getting some, I'm still talking with him and he's getting some, some professional help and whatnot.

31:47And I say professional in the sense that there's a third party that, that can talk through that stuff. And, and thank goodness as a society, we got a lot better about that stuff where we don't just go bury it. Uh, because guess what? You bury it, it comes back and it comes back and it, it affects everybody around you. So, um, yeah, this stuff is a, is a really critical, critical part of, of people's leadership, uh, skillset, you know, is this whole EQ stuff.

32:15Um, Dan, I really appreciate you sharing all these stats. I mean, you shared a lot of very alarming stats and something that should be eye-opening for anyone who is just learning this for the first time today. Um, you're also alluding to how the, the EQ and the leadership skills that we can learn through coaching, through mentoring, through counseling, just through experience, it also translates at home as well.

32:37Um, you know, one of the biggest topics of conversation on our coaching calls that we have with our own leaders or clients is on communication. And anyone who's in a relationship knows that communication is arguably, if not the number one challenge in in a relationship at home as well as the workplace. When I talk about communication affecting the workplace, I'll share that 77% of, uh, of, um, uh, no, I'm sorry, I'm getting a different stat mixed up.

33:03Uh, poor communication is costing your shop 18% of total salaries paid out on an annual basis. That's a pretty large number. And so you can imagine the impact, the, the negative impact it has at work. Well, it also has an impact at home as well. And the beautiful thing about leadership coaching and leadership training is how it applies at home. We're able to grow in our capability, our competence, and our confidence at home and at work.

33:31And ultimately, when the leader gets better, everyone gets better. Dan, let me ask you. Yeah. So, can I interrupt real quick? Yeah. Go on. What you got? So, here's another question I asked because I just did a workshop for about 35 people, great organization. And I said, how many of you— a lot of times I'll ask this question at the beginning of that workshop.

33:50How many of you are leaders? And about a third of the hands go up. And I said, can I just submit something to you all? And I use that word submit because I'm just placing it out for you to take under exam. Yeah. Do you not lead yourself? Everyone is a leader, period. You're leading yourself. And if you don't believe me, go visit a prison.

34:12Those guys, whatever their choices were, they did not lead themselves very well. And then unfortunately, society and consequences and everything else. So yeah, this, this thing with people skills and the other thing I would share with you, and it's been my mantra for, for many, many years, probably a couple of decades now. I just want to see people prosper personally and professionally.

34:33And if it's one side or the other, it helps the other side. So it doesn't matter to me. If you're making progress on the personal side, you'll make progress on the work side. And if you're making progress on the work side, and back to your point you just made a minute ago, Josh, on the communication thing, holy cow, you're not a kid, man.

34:50I do workshops on it. We talk about communication every single live meeting and it probably comes up every single, you know, monthly Zoom Connect. Meeting as well. It's such a critical part. And by the way, none of us ever arrive. Thank you for sharing this. So, Dan, I want you to elaborate on that because we've all heard the phrase fake it till you make it.

35:12And I would say face it till you make it. But the reality is we're never going to make it. Like, we're never going to arrive. I love the fact that you're a lifelong learner. I love the fact that you think like a rookie. This is one of the— even one in my first book, Leading a Legacy, one of the chapters is titled Think Like a Rookie.

35:26It's about always being a lifelong learner. Can you elaborate on what you mean when you say we're never going to arrive? Well, I'll just stick with the communication category. Okay. Okay. So we know there's 5 major modes of communication, of which there's— we have a natural and adaptive or circumstantial one, right? So we have aggressive, which usually has an undertone of anger.

35:54And that body language usually presents itself. They're louder, all that stuff. We all know what aggression looks like, right? Passive, where I'm not expressing my needs and wants. And then I end up having these episodes where they're not equivalent to whatever's going on, right? There's these blowouts, right? And then they return back to it and then they, you know, they go, just go back.

36:19They're not communicating what they need or want, right? And then there's, I have a PhD in this because I grew up in a household with this, passive-aggressive. Everything's okay on the surface. Everything's great. And inside my head, you have a PhD in passive-aggressive. Absolutely. I could make a million, but I refuse to go teach that workshop because it's incredibly unhealthy. And the amount of time wasted in energy, I tell you one thing, but I really need something else, want something else, disagree with you, but I'm telling you everything's okay.

36:48And the, the, it is so hard to catch because there's all these subtleties. And by the way, sarcasm, gossip, all that stuff falls into passive-aggressive. It's not good for us. Cut it out of your culture. It's not acceptable. It does damage, right? Then we have manipulation where I'm using information to my favor. It's too much, not enough. It's skewed, whatever that is.

37:10And then we have the only healthy communication, which is assertive. And I, one of the challenges, and this is not a generational thing because every generation has their own things they're dealing with. We have now repackaged in a lot of cases being assertive, which is direct, into this thing called, they think it's aggressive, right? And you and I had an interaction earlier.

37:35I was just assertive and you just took it, right? But a lot of people would have went, whoa, this guy's getting in my grill. So I've asked, so one of the areas, and when I say arrive on communication, just the talking part, it's not what we say, it's how we say it. Yeah, that's good. Well, then we have a receiver on the other side, right?

37:53So, right. It gets to be a real-world challenge because you don't know what, and then we listen, which we're, we really suck at listening. You look at all the studies, we're not, we're not active listeners at all. And, and this, all the research shows. We are really poor listeners, but many of us think we are really, really, really good listeners. We're not.

38:15So, when I say arrive, the ability to communicate clearly with the other person, you only control part of that. The other person has to receive the information, right? And then on top of it, all the things that can get in your way, your emotions, past experiences, The delivery of the message, your body language, which we know from the, you know, all the also pyramids of, you know, the words have very little to do with it.

38:43It's very much so the body language and the tone of the voice that matters the most. And so, we're always working on that, right? I mean, nobody, just that one column, no one ever arrives because you only control part of it. And even on your best day, The other person not might, and then if you, it also moves all the time, right?

39:05The ability to communicate with somebody and meet them where they're at is always on the move. So even if you got it right in the moment, you know, literally 10 minutes later, especially in shop conditions, right? It's nuts. The amount of balls in the air and plates spinning. I had a call this morning with, with a shop owner gal. Awesome. Awesome shop.

39:25Awesome gal. Awesome leader. She said, yeah, all these things happen. And she's describing this and it's like the customer didn't communicate well. We didn't communicate internally well. Something else happened. And no matter what, it was like every star didn't line up right. And then, you know, part of that was we were getting to figure out how to, how to get away from ruminating in those moments where things don't go right and not carrying it through the day.

39:50So that's another whole topic in itself, but Um, yeah, we just never arrive on any of these things. We're always, always growing, always learning. Dan, it's a good reminder that there are often multiple conversations happening for the one that's actually happening, which is the one that I'm having, the one that you're having, the one that I think that we're having, the one that you think that we're having.

40:10That's why the greatest misconception about communication is the fact that it's actually happening. Yeah, it's just, it's just a good reminder. Dan, you mentioned, uh, there are thousands and thousands of books on leadership. I'm curious, you're a lifelong learner. I imagine you've read a lot of great books. What are your, like, let's say top 2 or 3 that you could recommend to the listening audience on leadership, on EQ, maybe the most impactful books that you've read in your own life?

40:36Well, I'm a person of faith, so I'm going to, there's so much wisdom in the Bible. Even if you just read Ecclesiastics, just stick with one book of the Bible, which is the wisdom book, right? You know, I— wow, that's a great question. How do I narrow it down? You know, the Maxwell stuff's great. And he has a lot of people that research with him.

41:00And his stuff is really, really cutting-edge, top-notch stuff. It's condensed down. It's understandable. Dale Carnegie, you know, all this stuff is just re— Reformatted, reframed, right? Yeah. Truth is truth. Leadership's leadership. You know, I don't, I don't know that I have a ton more recommendations. Go to the old school books. Go to some of the great old school books. Napoleon Hill. Those guys, they wrote great stuff.

41:32And it's, it's never changed. It just gets reformatted and we somehow think it's new. There's nothing new under the sun. All this stuff. Has been around forever, and it hasn't changed one bit. Think and Grow Rich, a great book by Napoleon Hill. It's crazy to think that, you know, Dale Carnegie wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People over 100 years ago, but that book still remains tried and true as one of the most impactful and influential books when it comes to professional growth and development.

42:00My last question for you, Dan, is what is the best advice that you've ever received from a coach or mentor? 2 things. Just, you just be you. Just be the best version of you. And that's something I'm always working on because a lot of days I'm a meatball. I admit it. Or if I don't admit it, my wife will tell you because she lives with me.

42:29So, just be yourself, but be the— try to continue to try to be the best version of yourself, right? Which is growth. It's not stagnant. It's dynamic and it's always changing. The other one would be probably a philosophical thing. And I've asked people to come up with their own philosophies. So there's nothing— philosophy is a philosophy. It's just what you think it is.

42:50Probably the other one was a guy named Bob Christie. And I was with FedEx and I did eventually in that position and my team, I was— we were nominated and won the best manager of the year for the entire company. And we had multiple records. It was just an awesome little stretch. Now, part of it was my intensity and focus was a little bit overwhelming at times.

43:12And that's where this story goes. He said, you know, you think people show up to work to do a bad job? And it got me really, you know, this is a longer conversation, but at the end of the day, the answer is absolutely not. And so the best advice that I got from him that I kind of reframed in my own mind was, Man, there's like 98% of people show up, they want to do a good job.

43:33I mean, we're wired to perform well, feel good about what we do. Are there some bad characters out there? Sure. But they are far and few between. And even if it was 90%, you know, because I, quick story, I had a guy years ago I was coaching, he had 3 shops. They had 300% turnover. Like they had 90 people coming and going a year.

43:53And he said, man, we just can't find anybody. I said, dude, I want to play the lottery with you. He goes, what are you talking about? I said, you can pick the absolute worst team members on the planet. And if you're that good at that, let's play the lottery because you can pick numbers. And he got a little flustered. And I said, dude, it's something's broken in your system.

44:13Yeah. It's not the people. It's the, it's the interviewing. It's the onboarding. It's the training. It's the aptitude alignment. Something is broken. Because there's no way you have found the 2 percenters over and over again that are bad employees. They're not. You can't miss that many times. No. And yeah, just so those 2 pieces of just be yourself and realize people really do want to do a great job at work and make the environment conducive for them to be successful and grow and feel good about what they're doing.

44:46So good. It's such a good reminder too, Dan, that, you know, the number one reason people leave bad leaders, not bad jobs, is due to a lack of recognition. Uh, and, and we're so good at reprimanding, but we're not great at recognizing. And being able to recognize over reprimand is one of the opportunities that we are often not capturing that we should.

45:05Um, Dan Taylor, man, thank you for being on the Limitless Leadership Podcast. This will not be your last time, my friend. Well, my— I appreciate it. My pleasure, my pleasure, Josh. And I hope folks got something good out of all those back and forth nuggets between you and I. That was terrific. Yeah, I, I know they did and we could have kept on going and that, that's the thing.

45:22That's why we're gonna do this again and probably another time after that. But, uh, thank you for being here. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. As you know, we look to transform our leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. So thanks again, everyone. Have a great day. Don't forget to smile today.

45:39Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. I'm Josh Parnell reminding you to keep leading well.