How to Build a Business While Raising a Family | Kassiady Markham - Ep 31

0:00Like, there's definitely been times where I'm like, Tanner, after work, I'm gonna whoop your ass. Square up. Like, that's got to be hard. I mean, working with him, working under all of these stressful conditions with the kids. They are special bundles of babies. Ain't nobody killed nobody yet. I go to therapy. Welcome to Downshift with my sis, Tanika Haynes. We all know as shop owners, sometimes you got to slow down in order to speed up.

0:25And that's what this podcast is all about. It's time to downshift. So what are we talking about today? What are we talking about today? I don't know. What do you want to talk about? I don't know, girl. You got to tell me who you are. I mean, we know who Tanner is, right? But do you work with him? I own half the company.

0:51Okay, well, let's talk about that. You own the better half of the company, I'm sure. The back half is the best half. Yeah, exactly. Go ahead and introduce yourself to the world. Um, I'm Cassidy. Uh, most of you know my husband Tanner, the redhead that, you know, causes turmoil everywhere. Um, we have been together for 15 years. Yeah. And we celebrated 11 years, uh, yesterday.

1:16And I was 16 when we got together. So the business aspect was grown from us, like, from the ground up. I didn't come in after the business or anything like that. So I've always been a part of it. Okay, so let's elaborate on that because sometimes, um, I don't know how often because I own my shop without a man, which is absolutely fine for you and your husband.

1:42I'm not trying to say that, that came out wrong. But usually the wife is, um, not a part of the beginning of the business and they come in to help in the office, uh, so on and so forth. But you've been there Since the get-go? Yes. So Tanner started selling parts, oh, um, 2013. So he did fire and EMS first, and he was 3 grades ahead of me, so he graduated first.

2:12Okay. And then, um, by the time I graduated and I went to school to get my EMT like he did— he was in paramedic school— um, He left the ambulance service we both were working for at the time and he went oilfield. Oilfield's a big thing down here in Texas. Okay. So we weren't, we were just married or something like that. Well, I was in Louisiana training because I transitioned from a shuttle van, like wheelchair vans, to the EMT side because I'd got my state license.

2:43And he calls me and he's like, oh my God, they're working me like 36 hours straight. It's like 120 degrees. Degrees. He's like, I'm gonna have a heat stroke. And I was like, oh my God. Yeah, it's like, go home. I'll meet you at home in 2 days. And I could tell he was in distress. And he loaded up and drove 7 hours home.

3:05So when I got home, we were still living in an apartment at the time. And he's like, he'd had some side jobs between then. And he had I remember walking out one night and he had these, they're called helping hands. They hold like wires and stuff. He was, he had started building wire harnesses or something and selling parts online because, you know, he's always been a car junkie.

3:29It was a hobby. Yeah. And I was like, okay, whatever. So we got married, moved into our first house later that year. And he had actually started working for the heavy equipment union. Close to us, and he specifically worked on like cranes and excavators and stuff like that, like maintenance in them and the apprentice and all that kind of stuff. So I, uh, he did that and he still kind of sold parts on the side.

3:56And then when our first son was born in 2016, he is like, hey, I want to take the hobby out of the garage, you know, do a little side gig, you know, when I'm not working on the union, or if he's on a layoff. Because if you're on a layoff from the union, you can't work anywhere else. Okay, I didn't know that.

4:14Okay, yeah, that's not a problem. And I was like, Tanner, I'm like fixing to have this baby. It's July. I was like, I was hot, I was miserable. I was like, let me have this baby. And then after we had the baby, he's like, I found a place, it's like $200 a month or something. It was in a little warehouse district. He goes, do you mind?

4:33It's cheap. I was like, Oh, I get to use the garage again? Wrong. Go for it. So, and my oldest son will be 10 this year, so his little baby business of Suppression Motorsports was born. And I was kind of in and out of it, but it was like, it was a side gig. So I was at home with Rhett, and then I ended up going back to work on an ambulance, um, sometime after that to make ends meet.

5:00And we moved from a little tiny shop to a big shop in the same city. It was like a couple thousand square feet. So we jumped. Um, kind of blurs in that time. Like, he was in there, I was in there. Um, I got tired of him and I went back to work. It was really hard on the marriage. Yeah, his union stuff was up and down.

5:25Like, I'd ran that shop for a while and then he came in I was like, okay, things are not great. I'm going back on an ambulance. Found out I was pregnant with the middle child, and about— it tried to kick me into preterm labor once around 6 months, and then I finally stepped foot off the truck at 8 months pregnant, 7 months pregnant.

5:48I was working 16 hours trying to keep the house afloat. Our house was up for foreclosure, vehicles— his— he was trying to make his business work, and he was pouring all the hours he could, his heart, his soul, and it was struggling on us. And our oldest child was in and out of the hospital all the time. Asthma about killed him because we had, um, an allergen in the house we didn't know about, and it was hard.

6:11So I had a baby, he asked me to come back, and I worked there, I guess, when I was still pregnant. And I had my son with me because he was kicked out of daycare for like the 4th time for violence because he's autistic. Struggled there. So pregnant mama, violent child, I'll help you run the business the best I can. And then I had my middle baby, and he was in a little bassinet in the office with me.

6:37And so I had a baby in office with me, and then, um, he was born, um, I don't know if you've seen babies with like little helmets on to reshape their heads. So my middle baby had a plagiocephaly And we tried to get treatment around the Houston area. Um, they declined it because it's said to be, uh, cosmetic, but his would have caused seizures and stuff like that.

6:59So my grandmother made a call and Shriners took us on in Chicago. So my mom helped me with that, and Tanner would stay home with Rhett, and we were flying baby to Chicago. Well, we went in November, I think, of that year. Tanner and I flew him that last time because Tanner wasn't as busy. We got a phone call that said, you've been evicted from your building.

7:29The building with the shop in it? We had just landed in Chicago and went to the Ronald McDonald House, and I watched Tanner just sink, like melt. He's like We're 1,000 miles from home, Cassie. I don't know what to do. I said, call your best friends, see if they can get everything out of the shop. And he called upon a bunch of people.

7:53And I tell you what, Tanika, they came in and they stripped everything they could of the building, got all Tanner's tools, pulled the lifts down, dispersed it in all these places until we could get home 2 days later. Auto repair shop owners often reach a point where they cannot answer basic questions about their business. How many cars are in the bay? What's today's revenue?

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8:38Learn more at techmetric.com or use the link in the show notes. We already know what to do. We've been to the trainings, paid for the coaching, learned the right way to inspect cars, build estimates, and talk to our customers. That's not the problem. The problem is consistency, because some days it only works when the right person is working, and when they're not, it's a whole different shop.

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9:48Um, our marriage was still struggling, but I can honestly say that was the best thing that ever happened because we didn't know what we were doing. We were trying, good intentions. And then he went back to work for the union on a pipeline job, um, which means he was gone. So I was home with kids by myself, which was hard because the big one was going after the little one.

10:10And it was— my mom was coming in and helping. And, and then, um, I was like, hey, the school district was terrible. My son went to school already. He was, uh, 3 and 4. And I was like, I really want to sell the house if you're gonna have to travel. Um, I want to be close to my parents. This school district's terrible.

10:29I don't feel safe living here anymore. Beaumont's not a very safe city, if you know anything about Beaumont, Texas. I don't. And he was like, he was a little hesitant, but he's like, okay, Cassie, just do it. My parents come down and help me load up 2 U-Hauls, and we moved. And then, very surprised, like, we had moved in July to my parents'.

10:50August, I was pregnant with our 3rd child. We were supposed to, right? Good gracious, I was never supposed to have kids. Like, never supposed to have kids. It took forever and it was a miracle we got all 3 of them. Yeah, but I can't have any more after the 3rd one. He just turned 5. But, uh, he's like, hey, we may be going to Arizona to work on the border job because he was a crane operator, which was the Trump wall or whatever they called it.

11:18Well, we found out I was pregnant and that put a stop on that because I was such a high risk I couldn't travel. And I was like, I want my family together. So he's like, my friend's got a service truck and I'm really good on my tools, he's a diagnostician. He's like, I'm gonna go do this until we figure it out. I was like, okay.

11:36I was home, I was taking care of kids, I was pregnant, I had my family to help. And he goes, hey Cassie, I think, uh, what do you think about doing another business? And I was like Can I have like 2 days, 3 days to think about this? I was like, because it put our marriage in jeopardy. We're doing okay now. I was like, and I don't know if I can handle the stress.

11:59Yeah. I was like, and he went and rented a building. He's like, I found a building. It's great price. It's highway frontage. I can't do these big jobs. I was like, just give me like 2 days to think about it. Had to process it. I was already high-risk pregnancy, the kids. I was like, I just needed some time. I found out he rented it and I was like, oh my God.

12:23Oh, he was asking you after the fact? He hadn't done it. I'd asked for a few days and then he did it in those few days and then told me. Oh. I was like, he was asking for forgiveness by this point. But exactly, because, you know, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. I wasn't thrilled about him bringing on the business partner that he did, and that's a story for another day.

12:48But, um, I've always been in this business, and he's like— I was like, yeah, you know, I'll help, I don't mind. I said, but I'm very pregnant. You know, we were 40 miles from the shop at that time, and I was like, we gotta have a place to live before we have this baby. So we ended up renting a house in the same town as the business, and we moved.

13:05Um, I ended up having the baby early. Oh, he was born like 34 weeks and he was a preemie in the NICU, and I had him an hour and a half away at the level 1 hospital. And, um, something was going on with money and everything. He's like, Cassie, can you please come in, see what's going on? Because I'd already started pulling us out of the trenches of the house being foreclosed and the vehicles being up for repo and all that.

13:32I was like, yeah. I'll get involved. Um, business partner didn't like that. He didn't like me. I didn't like him. I didn't care. Yeah, I don't care. I never did. And then he's like— I told Tanner what was going on, and I was like, Tanner, we gotta get a plan to get him out of here. Can you tell me what was going on, or is that— you can't disclose it?

13:54I got a letter in the IRS saying they were fixing to seize every asset. Because I had— we had like different accounts set up. There was money coming out of, um, taxes, comptroller. So like I was paying them, but money kept going missing because somebody couldn't go without a paycheck because new business is rough, right? So Tanner and I, uh, took out the loan to save the business, and the business partner had pretty much tried to run everybody off.

14:26They said they were quitting and everything, and I was like Nothing I could do at the time. But, um, things were really hairy when Tanner was out with me and the baby. And then I came back to work at 3 or 4 weeks postpartum when he was out of the NICU. I had a baby in my arms doing paperwork, taking phone calls.

14:47Uh, his girlfriend, he tried to get her involved, and Tanner's like, no, Cassie's legitimately my wife. She has some experience with this. We'll just go with this for now. So he said he was leaving. He announced his departure. All the techs said they were quitting, said we're staying, because I had already in the background was getting with the attorney to figure out the breach of contract and all that to boot him out of there.

15:14And then that dissolution happened and we formed the LLC to where— because it's easier to buy things and get equipment and house and cars and all that. When you have an income. So instead of keeping it sole LLC, we put me on the other half to show I have an income. And I actually handle the books, the HR payroll. I handle all those things.

15:36Is that your natural thing? Or is that something you had to learn in order to save your marriage, your business and your family? Kind of all of it. Like I didn't— I struggled in geometry of all the maths. But I could do some basic math. Okay. So I got good at balancing, um, balancing everything— what's coming in, what's going out— getting my sheet.

16:02Like, I still to this day have a log of like my monthly expenses, and I write it all out every month. I go through my statements every month and I, I code it. And, um, I mean, that's where I thrive. I'm not a people person, y'all know this. Okay, Tanner is the mascot, as we call him, but he's definitely the people person.

16:23He's definitely the salesman to make the customer feel good. I try not to deal with people I don't have to, but I do, and it's, it's minimal. But, um, the business became— we've been— we've had this business for 6 years almost now, and I've half-owned it for 4 of them. So, and Everybody doesn't know. What's the name of the business? So it's Phase 2 Automotive.

16:51And when Tanner told me the name, I was like, what is this, Second Chance Automotive? I like it. I was hoping that that was the reason behind the name because Phase 2, let's go. It's not second chance. It's just the next step. I was just so mad at the same time when he told me that. I was like, Tanner, our marriage. I was like, it has struggled.

17:13But keep in mind, we've been together since I was 16. Yeah, Tanner and I grew up together, right? And now we're full-on in adulthood. Um, our oldest is almost 10, we have one that's fixing to turn 7 in 2 weeks, and our baby's 5. So we're on to that next part of life. And our, um, I— we did have some issues over like numbers and stuff.

17:32I was like, Tanner, kind of getting stuck here. I started hitting the point of getting stuck, and somehow he found the little fairy Lucas Underwood, who was a godsend. Tanner put himself out there and started making all these friends, and he's like, we need to do coaching. And I'm like, I cannot afford that. You cannot afford not to. I cannot afford it.

17:53And we went back and forth with it for a few months, and I was like, okay, Tanner. So we interviewed some coaching companies, and we ended up going with one. But let me tell you, our coach is not only our coach, but he's My marriage counselor. The one that talks to you. I guess who you're talking about, but who are you talking about?

18:12Our coach? Yeah. He's Doug with Elite. Okay. He very is down to earth with us and understands Tanner and I's dynamic. I mean, we jobbed from the beginning and we're like a year and a half in now. Yeah. And he's like the peacekeeper. He's like, Tanner's this go-getter and you're the one that knows the numbers and like, try not to strangle him.

18:35And we do a pretty good job of keeping business business and home life home life. It does blur occasionally, like we're talking about the kids or something like that, but, um, the marriage ain't teeter-tottering like it was. Learning communication is a problem occasionally, just gotta have a quick reminder. But, um, it's just kind of gone like that, you know. Having that first baby and 2 businesses in that time, the middle baby, and surprise third baby, and raised him in the office.

19:08That is a lot. Like, it's been a long ride. That's a long ride in such a short amount of time. What can we— we were both fired too. Yeah, what? We were both fired from our jobs because our son was sent to the children's hospital 2 hours away. For asthma. He almost killed him. So I'd lost my job the first time with him, and then I went back when I was pregnant.

19:33Um, so like we had lost jobs over, over this. So this business was solely founded upon taking care of our kids. And all 3 of my children are autistic and on the spectrum, but they're very high-functioning children. They, you know, little— it's the best for you guys to be like on a live or shenanigans and they're in the background just doing their thing.

19:54I'm just like They definitely beat their own drum. They march to beat their own drum. They really do. They beat their own drum. So they really do. You know, with those things comes behavioral crisis or meetings at the school district or doctor's appointments. I can't hold another job and this just became, this has to work. So that was that bridge of getting the coaching and all that.

20:16And you know, nobody's gonna, you know, say much to me if I have to leave to go get a sick child or if we have a doctor's appointment. I don't have anybody to answer to. Yeah, doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter what he does. We're both parents. He'll leave early and go get kids off the bus if he needs to. And you know, this is, this is our life.

20:34This is our livelihood and our staff. Like, I no longer will lose my job. I'm actually fixing to let my state certification go after 12 years. He let his go. He let his union stuff go. But I mean, we could always fall back on something, but this is it. Like, This is our life. It's gonna work. It's gonna work. But here's my question for you.

20:59I remember you just said when they were going to foreclose on that building and Tanner called his people and his people went and did the thing and they got all the equipment and, you know, rescued his stuff. Um, who are you leaning on when it gets hard? My mom. My mom is my biggest support system. And mind you, my mom also went through a hard time.

21:23She got divorced after 20 years during this time, and she was carrying and helping carry our mental load and helping with their kids. But, you know, it's like a back and forth thing. But my mom and my husband, like, it's all 3 of us. And then, you know, you have my brother in the mix who actually has worked for us. He's worked for us for 6 years.

21:41Um, And so I just kind of leaned into them and then, you know, Tanner would lean into his people and eventually we just kind of all picked up the pieces and just kept going. And he still talks to one or two of those people. And the other one that helped, he was actually killed about 2 years ago in a motorcycle accident. That was like Tanner's other father figure.

22:03And that was really hard. But those people, literally one stored his lifts, one stored a toolbox. One had this. And you know, when this other business opened, Tanner basically had a turnkey business. And so when we opened, he's like, Cassie, I need a toolbox. And I was like, you know how expensive those Matco boxes are? But I'm not going to say I allowed it.

22:27I just agreed with him that he could buy himself a nice brand new toolbox in cash from the money off our house. And he did. He got him a nice toolbox and stored all his things, and we just started growing again. Yeah, it's been a long ride, but now we're in the— the kids are healthy. My little one, that's another thing, he was very, very sick the first year, um, and I was in and out with him and at specialist appointments all the time.

22:57He couldn't tolerate formula is what it was. He couldn't tolerate anything. And then after that first year, it started getting a lot better. And now he's healthy and 5 and they're all in school and things have calmed down a little bit. But owning a business is never dull. It's not going to be dull. But I don't— I can't imagine anybody else with all of the ups and downs that you've had that would go through it and talk about it so gracefully and with a little humor.

23:28Like you do. Like, there's definitely been times where I'm like, Tanner, after work, whoop your ass. Like, that's got to be hard. I mean, working with him, working under all of these stressful conditions with the kids, your special bundles of babies. Y'all ain't nobody kill nobody yet. I go to therapy. I go to therapy, he goes to therapy. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not ashamed of it.

23:58Yeah, I have a lot of trauma from my youngest one because what we also don't share is one night after he was home from the hospital, he almost coded on us. Tanner was fixing to start CPR on my neonate, and that was very traumatizing. And it was just really like a hard time, really. And then, you know, the light started coming out and we just leaned heavily on each other because We're all my husband has.

24:22He has family, but he's not close to any of them like he is my family, because my family is the solid rock and not sketchy, for lack of better words, right? My family is the support system. So we just leaned heavily into the family and my mom. And, you know, she remarried a man that we had known my whole life. And it just— we all just kind of fell into a new family dynamic, really.

24:45And they're keeping the kids while we go to Flying with the Eagles soon. So Okay, so you, um, you have how many employees? There's 7 of us total. Okay, 7 total, you and Tanner. Are there any other women in the, uh, in the shop? No, it's just me. Knowing that it's just you, do you guys think you guys are gonna expand or build or hire?

25:12We are still for now. Okay, so We have been trying to work on expansion plans for probably 2 years now to expand. Um, I don't know, what do you call it? Like a— like we want to be around, but we also kind of want to be in the background of the business, if that makes sense. We want to be the face of business and just not have a glorified job.

25:33You wanna— yeah, I get what you're saying. Like everybody's like, I own a— you own a business right now, but you want to run it. You want to be able to delegate and be able to walk away and go on vacation and everything. Doesn't have to shut down. Like when you're going to Flying with Eagles, the office doesn't have to shut down.

25:48I understand. So it'll actually be open. Um, we've had our staff with us. Um, one is my brother, which most people don't know we're related, but it's a family business. Okay. So my brother's one of my techs. We have another tech that's been with us for 3 years now. We have our diagnostician, uh, tech who's been with us for 5 years. And we have one that we just hired back in in August.

26:17He was with us first and then left for a little while to go to a dealership. And he grew a lot there, don't get me wrong. And we had some fill-ins between then. And then he came back to us. And then we just hired our second service advisor we've had. And he come in, he's really strong, and he fits in with the team.

26:34And we're very culture-oriented. And Tanner did that for a reason. We all really get along. We all have strong points. Um, as far as us going to Flying with the Eagles, I don't have anything to worry about unless somebody wants to demand to talk to a manager. They won't be back until Monday. It is what it is. Yeah. So we don't have to shut down, which is a blessing.

26:58So you're on your way to doing what you want to be able to do, to step away? Yeah, baby steps. See, we didn't have our first advisor until 2 years ago. How long have you been coaching with Elite? January was a year, so, okay, pushing a year and a half. That's what's up. That is what's up. And I tell you, it helped me figure out where— because I was telling Tanner, I was like, Tanner, I'm stuck.

27:27Like, I've done this, I've looked at this, something is not jiving right here with these numbers. Why can't we get past these? What is going on here? And he's like, is it time to pull the plug and do some coaching? I was like, I guess. I guess. Like, are you in the ASOG group as well? Yeah, I've been in ASOG for a while.

27:49Um, I was like, I guess. So we interviewed all the coaching companies and we ended up going with Elite. And then we meet Doug and I'm getting a feel for him. We're all kind of filling each other out. And then as we go on, he's helping me Um, he helped me really divide up like all the numbers and, um, how it works.

28:09And like, I had a basic idea and I wasn't necessarily in the wrong with how I was doing things, but I was able to open up my spectrum to really see, okay, this is parts, this is profit, this is how much my tax are costing me an hour, this is how much it costs to run my business in an hour. And policies— we needed some policies.

28:29And thanks to Laura Lee We went to a vision last year. We wrote a bunch of policies and revised our whole book last year. So it was— we've just been growing a little bit. Um, Tanner and I do not travel a lot because, uh, our kids can only stay with my mom. Like, no ands, ifs, or buts about it. She's the only one that knows how to handle their, uh, ADHD and autism if they have a crisis and the medical stuff.

28:57So it limits us, but the coaching really really helped a lot. Um, even if we don't talk about a ton of in-depth stuff every, every, you know, meeting, it's— we can address something small and then make these changes. And he never makes us feel pressured, but he always listens and is neutral ground for Tanner and I. And I really needed that. I'm not one of those, well, I need you to be on my side, or I need you to be on his side.

29:22Like, I just needed support myself, and he's really very much done that to help us. And help me line things out to give Tanner what he wants and he's looking for in the business for numbers and whatnot. But it was slow progress and we still have a lot to go, but we've made a lot of progress in a year and a half and I'm hoping to see it continue to really boom so we can expand and get our parts room and our quick lane and more service advisors.

29:53But right now we're at a max capacity. There's 3 of us in a 1,000 square foot office. And there's 4 techs in a 3,000 square foot shop. So we're at capacity now until we can add on to the building. So that's a goal. So like you keep saying goals, which I think is amazing. And you're still young in the whole business. What is one goal that you guys know, like, I'm sure you have your own personal goals, right?

30:18I want to be able to do this right now. And he has his dreams of whatever he wants to do. What are the things that you have? What are your goals together? What does success look like for you together? Does that make sense? Generational wealth and stability. Because you— do you think any of the kids will be able to work in the shop?

30:43Okay, very much so. Do you think they're interested in it? Do they show any interest? Yeah, when they want to take apart everything and everything inside my house and all their toy trucks and put it back together and see how it works. Some, some very mechanically inclined kids, at least one of them or two of them. Uh-huh. And then one of them, my little 5-year-old, and he's 5, I mean, you don't know quite what he's interested in yet, but definitely vehicles, just like their daddy.

31:11But my middle son, who has a little more emotional struggles than the other ones, um, he very much is— he's gonna watch it and he's like Sponge. He's gonna learn how to do it. I think autocare would—he would thrive in—and he doesn't have to talk to a ton of people. He just has to report to one or two people, and he could do it.

31:33Tell him how it's done, and he could do it. Or he can watch and do it. It's amazing watching this child take everything apart and put it back together. Six years old. Just like Tanner. I'm just—I'm tripping. You know what? Because I really didn't think this conversation was gonna go like this. Because you don't talk a lot. No, you don't. And you're still young, and I'm thinking about how young you are and what all the things you've gone through.

32:03What is something that you've learned about yourself? Not talking about them kids, ain't talking about your husband, ain't talking about that business, none of that. What has Cassidy learned about herself going through the things that life has taken you through in the last It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day, and I can just keep going. It's been a lot that's happened in my lifetime, and since having kids and all that, in the business, it ain't an easy walk.

32:31And just anyone can walk through, they would have buckled. And trust me, I thought about buckling a couple of times and telling Tanner, that's it, I'm done. Yeah, it's been real, but at the end of the day, it's me and him against the world. I love it. And I'm 31 now, so that tells you how long we've been together. What was that, 15?

32:5215 years? 15? We just celebrated 11 years of marriage yesterday. Yesterday was our 11-year wedding anniversary. Oh, congratulations, congratulations! Who's the boss, you and him? I won't hear— who's the real boss after 5 o'clock? I tell him, you need to get your ass home because I need help with these kids. Time for, time for phase 2— no, phase 3— coming home and doing that kind of work.

33:18That's the other business. Very heavy on we have a private life that these kids deserve because Tanner missed out a lot on Rip, our oldest son. And I was like, we don't have to do that and we're not going to. Occasionally he stays over late for whatever reason, but we close at 4. We're 7 to 4. Okay, so occasionally he has a little bit of leeway.

33:38I'm like, we gotta be at the baseball field at 5, so you better get home. He's got a game, we're going. Work can wait till tomorrow. And really driving that boundary because Tanner would give his cell phone number to anybody if I wouldn't say something. Trying to save the world. Yes. And I am very much the opposite. I'm like, I don't care after 4 o'clock.

34:05I really had to make myself learn to do that. Like, listen, I can't save everybody. You know, there's going to be a lot of coaches and another shop owners, oh, you have to be available all the time, um, you're not serving your community, blah blah. The only time I want Chick-fil-A is on Sunday. You know what, they ain't even open. And you know what, I have to wait until they open.

34:27Yeah, you really have to have— especially you guys, you have to have a work-life balance. You got to have time for you and the kids, him and the kids. And, and I hope, and I'm pretty sure you're still together, you guys are making time for each other outside of the kids. Like you can send them to your mom's house and have a date night and all that good stuff.

34:46We— that comes and goes. Um, my mom had some health scares, so that did kind of put that on stop. But when she's doing good, we'll ask her to come over occasionally. Hey, can you just come out for like a couple hours? Yeah, we'll go to the next city over and go have lunch or dinner. Go shopping for whatever the kids need.

35:05Like, you know, just, just Tanner and Cassie, not mom and dad, not business owners, you know, just us, just you two. And we try for once a month. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it don't. But, you know, we still try to very much date each other, I guess that's what you would call it. Yeah, because when my kids are grown, they may not be around anymore.

35:27It's going to be me and Tanner. Yep. I don't need to forget who he is. Exactly. Motherhood definitely does consume me in some ways, and, you know, self-care or something I should probably work more on. But I'm like, I got a lot of irons in the fire, and it's just slowly, you know, relearning everything. My little one's almost— he's 5, so he's over the— he's a little rambunctious, but he's not like a toddler anymore.

35:51He doesn't, you know, wake up at night anymore. So a lot of those things have gotten better, but Still just trying to step out of motherhood in the business is hard. But I do make time to take myself to therapy twice a month, and that's my time. Yeah, that's better than not. And I believe therapy has been a lifesaver for me because it's somebody that's neutral, that doesn't know any of my family, but always gives insight of how they can help.

36:19Together? Is it separate? I mean, do you do it together or it's just you and you need your own time and he takes his time? He sees his own therapist and I see mine, but if there ever come a time where we, we've really felt like we needed somebody together, we would see somebody together. But we each see our own person, we each jive with our own person, um, and it seems to work.

36:41I mean, I can go tell her everything that's going on, what my struggles are, and she's like, okay, well, here's some skills, like we could do this, and like stress and Because I get, um, I physically hurt from like too much stress. Like it hurts my body. Um, so I had to learn some of those skills because I was like, these kids ain't gonna— just because they're not babies anymore doesn't mean they're not gonna be stressful.

37:08They're boys, they're 20 and 22, and they are stressful. And you've got— yeah, it's gonna be stressful. Your kids are gonna always be your kids no matter how old they are. Yeah, you can always be their mom. Just different variations. My mom didn't stop being mom when I turned 18, and I'm not gonna stop being mom when my kids are 18. No, no, no.

37:27I will always be mom, and Tanner will always be dad. Now, they'll have to have, you know, responsibilities and stuff, but I'm not just gonna kick them to the curb when they're 18. No, I don't understand that. That is, that is crazy to me. Like, of course I can refer to my kids as my babies. Those are not my babies. They might not be babies to you, but those are my babies because that's just, it's just being— they are.

37:51And having— being a mother, they'll never be as old as I am. They're always going to be my babies. If you don't agree with that, then I don't know, log off, get out my face. But those are my babies and I want the best for them, and I'm gonna always mother them as long as they allow me to. I'm not going to smother them.

38:05My mom will go to war over her kids and Tanner. Tanner's hers too. So my brother is He'll be 38 this year. Yeah, I'll be 32. His wife has been a part of our family since I was like 10. They've been married 20 years and they have 3 kids together. So it's me and my brother and our spouses, and we've all been together for a very long time.

38:28All 4 of us are my mom's kids. Yeah, it like— don't— she don't take nothing else for an answer. We belong to her. You're right. I love it. I love it. That's probably why you, you're so good at what you're doing, because you had to leave like Being a mother is like being a leader. I don't care. And nobody's not like, oh no, it's not.

38:46Yes, it is. Because you're responsible for getting those kids through their first 18 years, making sure they enter the world and they are entering the world where they can contribute and not be a menace. Like, you are growing a whole human. You're responsible for making sure that this human is going to be a good part of society. And that's what we're doing.

39:08Doing that at 18, why would you want to just stop doing that? Such a gift. And even then, some 18-year-olds are still very not experienced with life. I mean, especially the kids that— I mean, no hate to them, I'm not saying anything negative— like kids that play sports and they get to play sports and they don't work. And then some of us work.

39:27Like, some of those kids need a little extra time because they were allowed to play sports and be involved in all that. They need a little more time than just turning 18 and just kicking out the door if they never had a job. They still have to start learning too. Maybe not at 16, but they got to do whatever they wanted to in school.

39:44And I support that because think about it, okay? I'm 49. I still make mistakes every day. You make mistakes every day. And people get so mad at the kids that make a mistake at 18, 20. Well, they're so stupid. No, you're stupid because you're still making mistakes. I've been here 49 years. How do I expect my 20-year-old son not to make any mistakes?

40:06I mean, obviously they know what's going to happen if they rob a bank, so probably should they try that out? No. But if you can be like, hey, I'm just gonna use a credit card. Hey, you can get a credit card, but you have to be responsible for it. This is why. Yes. And yeah, this is why. And if they still go and do that, then you could be like, I told you so, I told you how it worked.

40:25But you know, it's like, just don't rob a bank. You know what's gonna happen. You probably shouldn't test that one out. Probably should do that. It's a felony. I mean, I believe in natural consequences, but yeah, I mean, my kids will be— my kids are young, so they'll graduate. They'll be just turning 18 at the end of their senior years. I was 18 at the beginning because I have a late birthday, and I worked a lot and all that.

40:51I was involved in school, but not as much as, you know, like if my kids want to play in band or sports in high school You do it. I'll pay your way until you graduate. You don't have to have a job and make it to practice 3 nights a week and play 4 nights. You know, like, it's one or the other. If you want to work, okay, you can go for it.

41:11Either you're going to be involved or you're going to be working. And that's just where we stand. That's, that's kind of what I brought in from my childhood growing up. Not everybody's the same, but it taught me a lot working very young. But my kids, I mean, they can be spoiled rotten in other people's eyes, but there's some very respectful kids, a little rambunctious, but they have a loving, firm home and they don't get away with murder like a lot of kids do.

41:39How does your mothering and how does that enter into the automotive world? Like, because you're the only woman working there. Of course, Tanner's your husband. He's going to protect you. But how do you lead as a woman in the shop? I'm firm and I don't back down. Honestly, nobody really hurts my feelings. I don't wear my feelings on my shoulder for the most part.

42:05Now, if I have, I had a tech that was just, I could read body language. I can read people like a book. It's one of my weirdo superpowers. I can, their body language shifts, their tone shifts. And if I say something and they're con— they're saying something to me, I'm like, okay, well, this is what's really going on. You're just kind of making assumptions.

42:24Like, I'm just laying it out. If your body language is like you want to snap me like a twig and I am bending to you— oh, okay— and you don't stop, then I will be like, hey Tanner, this is what's going on. I've said what I said. Um, I think you may need to get involved before, um, they don't have a job anymore.

42:45Because I'm not going to deal with it. Okay. So you don't go in the back office and cry about it? No. This is the automotive world. It's like, was it Ash that said they would— people would try to rip you to shreds, but I don't allow it. Yeah. I've been in conversation confrontation twice in my whole automotive career. So I've been in this world, what, 11 years?

43:13One, the man about got shot in my office because he tried to grab me in front of my kid. Oh. And then the other one was a woman. We, you know, we do DVIs and, you know, checkers, all that. She's like hollering and screaming at me. Well, her issue— she had already come back. Like, a brake system has different components. We know this, right?

43:36Right. She didn't wanna replace the other component that was sending metal through the new part we replaced. And it was documented. And it, she were like, you have to have that replaced and you don't want to. Like, that's not us from— she was screaming and hollering at me and I'd had enough. I got belligerent with her and then I hung up on her cuz she was just not leaving me alone.

43:55She kept calling and calling and calling. She goes, I will see you in court. I was like, fine, do it. Have your attorney contact me. I will give you my attorney's number. Yeah. I had your file right here. I don't do that. I don't step out of character very often, but that woman, she took you, and she was like, was it just because I'm a stupid woman?

44:12My dad was a mechanic. I am a woman. Woman. No, I hate that mentality. I'm just a woman. I'm gonna take advantage of— and I'm like, I'm a woman. My team would never take advantage of a woman, ever. And I've been there. So your I'm a woman just doesn't apply here. She tried it and she lost. She didn't even take me to court.

44:42I mean, I made her file on my computer. I pulled the phone recordings. I took my telemetric information. I saved it in a nice little file. I was ready to send it to my attorney, but she didn't pursue it because she knew she was in the wrong. She was just trying to get you to break. It's like if I see attorney, then she's gonna give me whatever I want.

45:01I've been threatened with an attorney three or four times, and I was like, "That's cool. Have your attorney contact me, and I'll share my contact information for my attorney, and they can handle it." Yeah. And he says, "It's crickets, crickets." So if there's another woman listening to this one right now, a wife that needs to help her husband in the shop or whatever.

45:23What would you— what advice would you give her if there was another woman listening and her husband needed help? Or if they're trying to start a shop together, this, that, whatever? I would say figure out who is— because it's— if she's not a technician, obviously she needs to be in the front, but like clear expectations need to be set. And just if your feelings are hurt, that, you know, I understand that.

45:54Just try not to let people belittle you and take you out because it's not right. You're not a punching bag and you shouldn't be. And if somebody doesn't respect you as a woman or wherever you are, kick them out, call for help. Do not become somebody's punching bags. I have a button. I put walls up after that man tried to come at me.

46:15And I have a button I can just slide my hand across and it sets sirens off in my shop and my technicians will be in the office armed within 3 seconds. Wow. That makes— that's the place that this area I live in. Yeah. Just don't— there's shops that live in that place and that might be a good idea if they haven't thought of it yet.

46:33I don't, you know, and just have clear expectations like, hey, this is like set up your pricing and just kind of get the feel for it. You know, obviously things are going to change. You just have to be open-minded, but don't be a punching bag. While your man's out there wrenching, if that's how it's set up, which a lot of them are set up that way to begin with.

46:53But don't be a punching bag. Stand your ground. If you want to buckle later, that's fine, to decompress, that's fine. But don't let somebody take advantage of you. Facts. Because they will, and they will sit there just like your kids. They're going to sit there and see how far they can go. Stop, stop that thing early. Yeah, that guy that tried to grab us, he also sued us and he lost.

47:16And he did a back charge, which is also a felony, theft of services. He lost. He had to pay it back and he lost in court. But he was— he started screaming and hollering at me and they went to— he went to grab me and, um, Tanner and my brother, and I had other technicians in there that interfered And I told him, I said, you better get the F up out of my office right now.

47:42You said F word? Oh girl, you do not say F words. I was not nice to that man, and I stepped in front of him and my kid. Yeah, it wasn't long after that that, um, that child went to daycare. But like, just the audacity of people, the narcissism in people. Just— and I've been called a stupid secretary before and they want to speak to management.

48:10And I'm just like, what do you say when they say that? I was like, I am management. I own this company. What can I help you with? And they're like, nah, you're just a stupid effing secretary. And I was like, where the hell is your shop? I wish— I mean, I've had some customers that I had to set straight. I've had, in 10 years on my own, I've had about 3 that went that far.

48:41One, you know, one guy, engine replacement, came in on tow truck. He needed a transmission too. He was just, he was loud. Like all the technicians were like, like, no, we're not doing this here. I've had some weird ones, but not a whole lot. I think my face, I can, I can cuss somebody out really good. By smiling at them. My uncle told me that yesterday.

49:02We were at dinner and he's like, you do this thing. And I was like, I am so good. I wish I can teach people how to do that. Like, yeah, so no, yeah, I can smile and kind of scare you a little bit at the same time. It's like, I'll tell them it's my policy and we're not breaking it, so you either like it or you leave.

49:17No, I need to speak to the owner. And I love to just turn around in a circle and be like, okay, now what? Like, that's me. I should do that. Just like, hold on one second. I've done the hold on, let me go get her. Yeah, get them and let me go get her. It doesn't happen. I guess for me, I've been in business so long that everybody just knows.

49:36Yeah. And we kind of set the tone when people come through the door that this is not the place. It's not it. I've had them also call, are you Tanner's wife? And I was like, that's irrelevant to this conversation. Is there something I can help you with? No, my name is Cassidy. Yeah, like, um, what can I help you with? Doesn't matter who I am.

49:56Now we do have people that— some very few and far in between, um, that know Tanner and I before phase 2, that were actually friends, and they'll call, hey, how's the wife? You know, those situations are okay, but you don't know me and you do not get the opportunity to come in, hey, I'm Tanner's best friend and he told me to come in and see y'all and I'd like to see him.

50:19I was like I've been with Tanner for 15 years and I ain't never seen you a day in my life. I'm, I'm Brown talking about my dad. Oh yeah, I'm Brown's cousin. I'm just like, no, you're not. I'm his daughter. Are you serious right now? I wasn't his daughter. He just said me. Where? Like, dude, because I know, like, even my service people and people, everybody up front, you'll be able to determine who a family member is because what they call my dad.

50:48Because they used to like— they're asking for such and such, I'm not gonna say it here. And I'm like, yeah, that is real family if they call him by that name. Everybody, right? Tell them they done lost their mind. Oh yeah, I'm your best friend. Oh yeah, I used to come here all the time. Well, how do you not recognize me? Exactly.

51:05If you don't know my kids' names, you haven't been to my house, and you don't know me, you're not family, babe. Tanner has like, yeah, right? And I have like 2. My circle is really small. But for that reason, I don't trust people, and I don't like people to try to call me only when they want something. I'm not doing that. That road has to go both ways.

51:29And Tanner's real friends, that road does run both ways because they would— a real friend would never ask for this. Every time you need something, it's got to be a hookup, which you won't do that anywhere else. It's not fair. Nope. I paid. My house had to have plumbing redone. We paid the plumber. I needed trees cut down, paid them. We had to have floors put in our house because it flooded, paid for that.

51:54We don't ask anybody else for assistance. Yeah, I'm coming to you because I respect you, not that I need a hookup. Please do not come to my shop and think, oh yeah, that's my cousin, we family, finna do this, finna do that. You don't say that when you go to the Toyota dealership. Or Honda or Chevy. Exactly. Like, if you went down the line, one of them jokers in there somewhere is your cousin.

52:14So why would you do that to me knowing that this is a small business? And no, we're not doing that. This is our livelihood. This is how— this is not a hobby. This is not a 501 nonprofit. This is what takes care of my family and 6 other families, right? This is a business. It's here to make money. Right. We're not charity.

52:36Have we done things in the past to help? Yes, we have. And was it for publicity? No. And it's not going to be. But I can't just take every sob story that comes in the door. Like, I know it sounds bad. I have— it does not sound bad. I have empathy for people. Like, I'm sorry you're a single mother and you're struggling, but this is what it's going to cost to fix your car.

52:59Um, You know, if we can chunk it up, we do. Or if it's catastrophic, you know, we just kind of guide whichever way. But we're not going to be like, oh, you can just get by with this and the car is a safety hazard for them and their family. Not doing it. We have ethics, we have morals. And then people that need help, in my experience, people that really, really need help hardly ever ask.

53:23Correct. And we've managed to get over some of those barriers with the third-party financing. They're like, well, do y'all have financing options? We're like, yes, but we can't see them. We can kind of help you guide through it, but we can't see that. All we can see is how you pay. This is how it works. And if you do that, okay. If you still need some help, just kind of let us know.

53:42But we're not a bank either. Nope. We can't. And Tanner's more empathetic than I am. I'm like, this is what the options are and I can't do anything else because if I sell that out of my pocket and I discount that, what if my children need something with that money? Right. I was talking to someone and her coach has it set up in her mind now that every time you offer somebody a discount, just go ahead and take that money out of your kids' trip to Disney.

54:13Take that money out of your kids' college tuition. Okay, exactly. Just keep taking from your family. Keep taking from your family. It's like, oh, you know, you can help people. I choose to help who I choose to help. And like I said, in my opinion, in my experience, people that need the help really don't ask for it so much. So if I see someone and I can bless them, I will, at my discretion.

54:39But it's just not an automatic thing. It's the ones that are like, what's it going to cost to fix my car? And then you tell them and they just— they don't get belligerent, they just have a meltdown because they don't know what to do. Right. And you can help guide them through that. Yes. And Tanner is a blessing at that. You know, I help people, I connect with people occasionally if I pick up the phone, but it can't be every person.

55:03Nope, it can't be every person. And we also have people calling us for sponsorships that we hardly ever see. Like, I can't do that either. I support my kids, or, you know, like the Little League my kids play for, or, you know, our employees. Kids. Like, I do those things, but I can't do it for everybody. And for us to not really see you, I can't justify that either.

55:25No, I know I sound bad for some of those things, but I can't— you actually don't sound bad. Which just sounds like every child, I'd be out of money. You'd be out of money. Yeah, you'd be out of money. And especially the ones that hire a company to call around to find people to donate. Yes, like, what? So if my customer brings in her young lady Girl Scout and she wants to sell cookies, we're buying a box for everybody, maybe 2 or 3.

55:56Um, I did buy some Girl Scout cookies this year, like 20 boxes. Like, we have the box out. We actually need to put it back out, the box out for the local company that collects food for the pantry. Encourage your customers to, hey, this is a donation spot. There's ways to give back without spending tons of money, but you just have to be careful with who you give back to.

56:22And you don't want to say, oh yeah, we didn't get anything back from it, but you kind of do. Like, you cannot write a check to every Little League baseball team. That would make no sense. Um, I'm for— we didn't— we got one person that actually coached my— one of my kids' baseball teams He's a customer of ours now because he met us at the league, but that's it.

56:40Yeah. But I don't look at it as, oh God, I lost all that money. Now people know that we're out there, but it's, hey, these people took initiative to make sure these kids had their jerseys and, you know, that the facilities can be updated for their safety. And like, that's more how I look at it. It's not necessarily, oh, I want your business because you saw us there.

57:02It's, These people are for the kids, they're for the community. We're a family, we're family people. We're not all about the top dollar. That's— I think it's great. I did, um, I sponsored a pretty big sponsorship last year for, uh, one of the kids my son plays with. His sister made it in The Nutcracker ballet, which is a big deal in my area, and I gave her a sponsorship because that stuff's very expensive.

57:33But I know that family and I know how far that went because she got to dance because of a sponsorship. And I was like, that makes me feel good that she got to do that and she earned that. Yeah. And I will never regret those, but I couldn't sponsor every dancer, but I knew that dancer, so I had the opportunity and we did.

57:56That's sweet. Those are the things that I like. I really enjoy hearing about stuff like that. Oh, what do you want to do? What does phase 3 look like? What does phase 2 look like in 3 to 5 years? You're thinking about getting a bigger shop? So the thing about where we are is, you know, you flew into Houston. We're about an hour and a half northeast of Houston, more on the Louisiana border.

58:21So up here, um, property would be cheaper in the city of Beaumont, but we don't want to go back to Beaumont, and we live in the little town just north of Beaumont. An acre of property is a million bucks here. So we— our shop is in the next town north of that. It's called Sillsby, and we're out in the county. But being in the county, we have highway frontage.

58:48It's eventually going to be an interstate there, eventually, to go from like Beaumont all the way up north through, uh, into Oklahoma. And, uh, it's good property, but the city doesn't mess with us being out there. So we really need to be out there. So we're trying to expand where we have now, like between our office and our shop, which is— I don't remember how many feet it is, but we can close it all in and put our offices on the second story and take down the building in the front or, and then add on to it again if we wanted to and still keep parking.

59:27But, um, we would ultimately have to build another location from the ground up, and it can't be right on top of us. We would have to go a little further north into what's called Jasper, which is about 50 miles north of us, um, but different income area. We already pull from that area to begin with. So it would be phase 2 Jasper location or something to set the identities a little bit different.

59:56We looked at one going more towards the border side, which is about 45 minutes from us. But the properties over there in a flood zone, you remember where Hurricane Harvey happened? I don't, but it sounds terrible. It was down on the Texas coast in like Louisiana. So major flooding. So we have to be very careful about another location, but we've feel— kind of got the feelers out.

1:00:21But we want to try to do what little expansion we can now and make that work, and then maybe we'll get lucky with something in Lumberton, which is the town we live in, to open up there. But it'll be a lot more quick service items, smaller items, because right now we're bumper to bumper. We just got all of our new equipment in Engine swaps and, you know, resales.

1:00:45That's a lot of big work. In a second location, we don't wanna do all that big work, if that makes sense. Yeah. Have our specialty shop and then have our quicker shop, like same day, next day, all those repairs. That's ideal for us. But our area's definitely wonky with prices. That's crazy. That's crazy expensive. Yeah, and what's crazy, we actually own our property in Silsbee.

1:01:13Okay, we— you can add on to that property, you can change stuff around, so sounds good to me. I don't know about going to spend a million dollars an acre. No, we bought it. I think it's oil under there. Damn. Well, we are in the oil area and Spindletop and Beaumont, but, uh, we have all the refineries. On our coast. But, um, that's the idea is just expand where we are now.

1:01:40I told Tanner, I was like, expand here first and then, then we might consider taking on another headache somewhere else. Okay. Hopefully when the kids are a little bit bigger. Rapid fire questions. So everybody, because you don't talk a lot. I like you. I think you're funny. Um, so you got to introduce yourself just a little bit. I'm asking some questions that have nothing to do with automotive industry.

1:02:00Ready? All right. What was your first car? A 1999 Mazda Protégé. What color was it? Black. What is your dream car? Like, what's your dream car? A fully loaded Yukon Denali XL. Still a mom car because you got the kids. Yeah. Yeah, or a Suburban. Yeah. All right, water, coffee, or energy drink? Coffee. Coffee head. My sister's so addicted to coffee, she's like ordering coffee every time we're on the phone together.

1:02:38I make a cup of coffee, I'll make 8 ounces of coffee, and I'll probably drink 2 ounces out of it and just ruin a whole day. I just waste so much money on coffee. It's not me. All right, one— in one word, you have to describe entrepreneurship. Challenging. Challenging. All right. Started the shop. This shop is 6 years old. Yep. This shop is 6 years old.

1:03:06One thing you wish you knew before starting phase 2? That coaching existed. We could have built that into everything from when we first started. Do you think it's important that people start out with a coach or just like— I didn't start out with a coach. I think I went about 2 years before I got a coach. Um, even if they don't, just know the option is available if you can't sort it out and it's causing more turmoil than what it should.

1:03:40Just knowing the help is out there before you get yourself in a big crisis. Yeah, and you've only been coaching with them for a year and you can tell the difference already, huh? Oh yeah, awesome. Same, definitely. Well, Cassidy, you thought it was going to be weird. I'm losing my voice from, um, tectonic. I'm just getting it back and then I've been talking all day, so that was squeaky.

1:04:05Anyway, I'm glad that I got to talk to you and that you agreed. It's like, what are we gonna talk about? I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. I like it. I told Tanner, I was like, man, that'd be so fun. Tanner's like, I signed you up. And I was like, yeah, he sent me a message. He was like, um, I think you should interview her.

1:04:21And I was like, whoop, say less. I think I sent you the message just like that. He's like, you're welcome, babe. And I'm like, you're just as important as he is. Like, this is— you're the backbone, girl. Can't do it without you. She's a woman behind the scenes. But you're doing all the work. You've got the kids, you've got everything rolling as smooth as it can be at 6 years.

1:04:47You guys are doing the coaching, you've got the ideas, you've got ideas for growth. I think you're winning. And just the idea of ever not needing coaching, I was like, is that a thing? Oh my God, no. Like, I need my coach. I know, right? He's like a part of the family. I mean, I've changed coaching companies I've, you know, I've from here to there, from there to here, but I don't see myself without a coach because I know that I would get in my own way.

1:05:14Me and my stubbornness. Yes. Yep. And there's always a neutral line there. Always something to learn. Well, I'm gonna let you get back to your babies and we'll see you on the socials. All righty, it was good meeting with you. All right, Downshift with Tanika is where we slow down long enough to have real conversations hosted by myself, second-generation shop owner, Tanika Haynes.

1:05:39This goes beyond your car count, your KPIs. We want to talk about leadership, legacy, mindset, and the messy, beautiful journey of building something that lasts. You will hear stories from shop owners, technicians, and other industry leaders who are figuring it all out by themselves. In real time. This is a space for growth, tough love, laughter, and leveling up.