Ep 153: Redefining Men’s Leadership in the 21st Century with Andrew O'Brien

0:00when you're on the right path, the world just works for you, right? And everything seems to just fall into place. Not that it doesn't come with its challenges and downfalls, just like everything else in life. When I get deep into it, I need to share that with other men who are in that same leadership position in their home, um, to help us combat that struggle together and, and rise up together.

0:21Uh, so we're over here solving the problem of isolation in men. You're listening to the Limitless Leadership Lift Off Podcast, the podcast designed to help automotive repair shops learn how to lead, coach, train, and manage their team better by sharing proven techniques and thought-provoking interviews from industry leaders. Are you ready to transform your leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results?

0:46Let's get ready for liftoff. It's time to go from great to greater. Here's today's episode. Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. Before we get started, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, do all the things you need to on social media to help this podcast impact people and build leaders. And speaking of people and speaking of leaders and speaking of impact, Brett and I are joined by an incredible guest today, someone who's making an impact not just in their respective community but in the world., and I'm excited for our audience to get to know who our guest is, what our guest does.

1:27Our guest today is the founder of Dad Tribes. Our guest is our friend Andrew O'Brien. Andrew, thanks for being here, man. Hey, I appreciate both of y'all letting me jump on and, and join this conversation. Well, hey, we're excited to have you. Um, before we get started, Andrew, go ahead and just share with our audience a little bit about what Dad Tribes is, who you are, what you do, and how you do it.

1:47Yeah, so I'm gonna say without trying to sound egotistical, I'm just proud of what we're doing. DADtribes is the fastest growing community of dads in the world. And I don't mean we're the largest yet, but we are the fastest growing. We grew by 1,000% in 2025 and we're growing by 100% week over week right now. Um, and so we're seeing amazing growth.

2:10Everything we do for dads is completely free. We don't charge them anything. We built a mobile app. Where we invite guys to come onto the app. They can use a map to find other dads near them with similar age kids and similar hobbies and interests and reach out, add friends, send direct messages, schedule times to meet up, take the kids to the park together, go fishing together, go hunting together, go play a game of golf together, whatever it is that they care about, they're able to do.

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4:57Isolation in men. I, I'm, I'm glad we're talking about this topic because we live in a day and age when we can get anything and everything right at our fingertips just with a click of a mouse or through our phone, through the screen. Um, but it's amazing how many people are in the world who feel alone. They feel like they're on an island.

5:14They feel alone. They feel isolated. And community is, you know, a, a word that Brett and I have been using, um, quite heavily this year. Um, being able to create a community, not just in our industry, but in, uh, industries alike and, and other folks who are, maybe experiencing the same similar isolation that you, that you've talked about. Andrew, I'll ask you to share what started all of this, what prompted Dad Tribes, and give us a little bit of background about who you are and where you came from that warranted this incredible community that you've been building.

5:47Yeah, so I, you know, right after high school I joined the Army and I was in there for 4 years. My time in service was filled with camaraderie and brotherhood, and it's a connection that you've find very, really hard to replace when you get out, right? It just doesn't exist because when you go from combat situations and life or death situations, you build this relationship with these men that you spend pretty much 24/7 with for, you know, 4 years.

6:16And then you get out and you realize the civilian world doesn't work this way, right? The, the brotherhood, the camaraderie is stripped away from you immediately and it's just gone. And finding friends as a grown adult, especially men, it's hard, right? We aren't naturally social creatures. We don't go and just, you know, hunt for friends all the time. It's normally more challenging for men alone.

6:42But then you add having kids, right? We get stuck as dads in two environments, work and home. And that's where we live in our environments. And the majority of that time is spent at work. And then we spend as much spare time as we have at home because we live in guilt constantly that we're not getting enough time with our wives or our kids.

7:02Um, and so as I was experiencing this getting out of the Army, uh, I, I realized, man, I need brotherhood. I, I need camaraderie. It, it fills the soul in a way, um, that is hard to explain, right? It's not that I don't love my kids. It's not that I don't love my wife. They are the center of my entire world. But I still needed brotherhood.

7:22I needed camaraderie. I needed to be around other men, other testosterone. I need to be around other people going through the same life experiences and life challenges that I'm going through. And I realized hanging out with, you know, single guys with no kids, I didn't have anything to relate over. They just— it's a whole different world from with kids to no kids, right?

7:44Noticing that, I was like, you know, it was in May of 2020, we saw the pandemic coming. Everybody was forced to stay at home. I think dads started to even realize more now how much time they were missing out on because they couldn't leave the house. Uh, and so I started Lone Star Dads. It's just this little Facebook group as a way for dads to hang out and talk to other dads.

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8:52That's T-E-K-T-O-N-I-C, or use the link in the show notes. So, knowing you well, Andrew, for the past couple of years, man, I can also boost this up a little bit more. You're not only just building community, you're building community of strong men, right? You're giving them resources through those dad tribes all across this country and nationwide as a whole to be able to understand what being an effectively present quality-driven man is, right?

9:21Through the resource allocation of all your members. And speaking of members, how many members are you guys up to today? Right now we have 60,000 members, over 60,000 members across the country. We're growing by about 200 to 400 members a day. That's phenomenal, man. And so the impact that you're already making, even if you stop today, your legacy is moving, right? I know you're not going to stop.

9:47I know you guys are going to go after hundreds of thousands, if not millions, when this thing continues to grow. The type of root system that you've been planting, it's something that this world will always need. Just like this world always needs leaders, it always needs strong men to lead in those communities that they set foot into. And you guys are doing a phenomenal job in the very early days at making sure you're really intentional about that.

10:11Thank you. I appreciate that. It's definitely been an experience, right? I mean, when I first started this, I had no idea it would end up where it is today. But when you're on the right path, the world just works for you, right? And everything seems to just fall into place. Not that it doesn't come with its challenges and downfalls, just like everything else in life.

10:32But when you know, when you know you're in your calling, The results prove itself. Josh and I have a saying, God will equip the called. That's right. That's, that's what it is right there. You're being equipped along the way. So are all your dads that are helping you lead, even if they have no idea what they're doing day by day. Sometimes that's, we have, we have to act in faith because we don't know what to do next.

10:53Right. But the rooms that you guys are being called into, you will be equipped to armor up and serve in those environments, even if you've never done it before. Right. And what I love with the community we're building, right, is I'm not here to be a parenting coach. Personally, for me, I don't believe in parenting coaches. I have 6 kids and every kid needs to be parented in a completely different way.

11:18And I still have no idea what I'm doing day to day. So I don't think there's any how-to book that is going to make sense for every child. But what I believe is birds of a feather flock together, right? You surround yourself with good men, with good ambition, good motivation, good core values, and naturally you will fall in line. And, and you will naturally want to become a better man, a better father, a better husband when you surround yourself with better men, better fathers, and better husbands.

11:48I got a question for you, and this is something Josh and I, uh, have encountered sometimes in the industries that we're serving in, in leadership coaching. And training because you're serving 60,000 men. What has it looked like either in the early days or as of recently when you've encountered how lost this world is, lost men are? I mean, is it really eye-opening for you guys?

12:12And number one, and number two, what are you doing to address that? Yeah. So, you know, it's amazing when we did this, the most recent app update added the map. Before that, it was just a place where you could RSVP for events and enter contests, right? So it wasn't very active. The moment we launched the map, it changed everything. It drastically exploded our membership growth and our activity.

12:36And what it did is it showed me just how lonely we all are, right? But men aren't going to go join a local neighborhood Facebook group and say, hey, I'm lonely. Does anybody want to be my friend? That's just not something that we do. Right. But, and a lot of men have become introverted, right? You've got your extroverted guys out there who will go into an event and leave, not, you know, everybody will be their friend by the time they leave.

12:59But a lot of men are like me where I go into a crowded place. I'm the guy in the corner just kind of observing. I never need to be the center of attention or even want to be the center of attention in an area or social environment that is not based on me or what I'm doing. And so I think when we saw that and we saw that map changed everything, it just showed us.

13:22And so the map is how we were able to attack that, that isolation, right? Solitude is important for men. We need that moment to reflect, to become better, to do what we need to do. I would never say that solitude is negative. I believe isolation is negative, right? And that's, that's the, what we're doing to solve that problem is giving them the ability to be around men who, who like the same thing., right?

13:45Because just because we're the same age and have the same kids and age kids and live in the same city doesn't mean we're going to be friends. And so, and as we get older, we're more picky about who we want to be around. Andrew, will you separate the differences between solitude and isolation for our listening audience? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, solitude for me is that the moments where you sit alone in that room and you reflect, right?

14:09It's all about reflection. It's about personal development. It's about thinking about, your wins, your losses, your failures, your successes, and just taking time to reflect on yourself as a human being and see where you need to be better and give yourself an opportunity to pat yourself on the back for what you have accomplished, which I think the majority of people have a hard time with, right?

14:30Especially us ambitious ones where we'll get 2 steps ahead and still feel like we're 20 steps behind, right? And so that solitude gives you that moment of reflection. Isolation is feeling like you have to go and attack the world by yourself and do everything alone. And a lot of men feel this way, right? Because as a father, uh, and this is my belief, I have nothing wrong with the way anyone else believes, but I believe that I am the rock and the leader of my home.

14:57Uh, my wife depends on me, my children depend on me, so my job is to be strong. And when I am struggling, I don't need to burden them with that struggle because my job is to be their rock. But I do not believe that I need to do it alone. What I need to do is surround myself with other men who I can then share my struggle with and can push me and motivate me to become a better man or to solve whatever problem I'm facing.

15:22I just don't believe in burdening my family with that. I want to continue to be that strong leader. My wife knows when I'm stressed. I'm not saying that. I think that's hard to hide, right? But when I get deep into it, I need to share that with other men who are in that same leadership position in their home to help us combat that struggle together and rise up together.

15:44Andrew, that's a powerful concept that you just shared. And Brett and I often talk about how we can go fast alone, but we can go way further together. And what I'm hearing you really be able to provide for other men out there is the opportunity to do something together, to go through something and grow through something together. And I, I love the concept of being strong for your family because you are the rock for your family.

16:09But there's power in vulnerability, and vulnerability is not a weakness. Vulnerability is a strength. Well, we can be vulnerable in our community of men who are going through and growing through the same things that we're going through and growing through. And so being able to have this community like Dad Tribes to, to go further together, it's such a, such an incredible— like, I can understand why you guys are growing the way that you're growing.

16:30And, and earlier we talked about you're not just impacting your respective community, but you're impacting the world. You guys have extended beyond the United States. You're now in, help me out, Australia, correct? Yeah. Yeah. So we're in Australia now. Um, since we've launched the map, we also have people in the UK and Canada and the Netherlands, all over. Excellent. That's, that's powerful, man.

16:55That's so powerful. Uh, well, Andrew, let me ask you this because this is a leadership podcast and what, what you're also doing is you are creating leaders in men with respective leaders in their community. If I were to ask you, what does leadership mean to you? How would you answer that question? You know, leadership for me is, uh, a little bit different than I think a lot of the world views it, right?

17:21So when I look at leadership, my job is not to tell somebody how to be better, what to do to be better. I, I believe a leader shows them the path and gives them the opportunity to become better themselves. Like I said in the beginning, I am not a parenting coach. I will never teach or tell anybody how to parent their children.

17:40I don't believe in that. What I do believe is opening the door to a room where you can be surrounded by others and that same with the same ambition, same core values., and naturally you will become better. I believe a leader's job is to get people in that room where they will naturally be surrounded in an environment where they become better. Iron sharpens iron, right?

18:05Yes. Yep. Uh, you know, we, we, we get better through being in rooms where men are steps ahead of us, and those men remember the days that they were poured into. And they pay, they pay it forward, right? And so when you get in that type of environment where men are really intentional about their growth and they make sure that they're there to help call other men up versus call them out.

18:31And we have a saying, when leaders get better, men, when men get better, uh, the entire organization, the entire world, the entire, your family stands a supreme opportunity to get much, much better along the way as well. Yeah, I believe, you know, there's a difference between a boss and a leader, right? A boss will tell you what to do. A leader will ask you the questions that will get you into the right direction, right?

18:54So I don't want to order people around and tell them what to do. I want to give them the opportunity and ask the right questions where they'll come to the answer themselves. Brett just talked about what we coined the definition of accountability is not being called out, but being called up. And I think this is an opportunity to not only express vulnerability in a community like we talked about, but also being called up to serve, to serve your family, to serve your organization, to serve your community.

19:25For the listening audience who knows that they need to make a change, but they've struggled and they're feeling stuck— a lot of us are feeling stuck in multiple areas of our life And we know that nothing changes if nothing changes, but something has to change and we struggle. How can our audience learn more about DadTribe? What can we do to get connected and what's, what part can we play once we do get connected?

19:55Yeah, you know, the first step is getting on the app, right? That, that's where we start the interaction. But you know, what you'll see is a lot of men will join the app, they'll set their location, but then that's it, right? It's that first step going, going to introduce yourself, finding a guy that has the same hobbies, same interests, and introducing yourselves.

20:15I think what we need to do in our community is to encourage the men in our lives to seek friendship, to seek brotherhood, to seek camaraderie, whether it's on DadTribe or not. I don't care. You know, we're going to build this movement to a billion-person movement. And we're going to continue to grow until we surpass that one day. But it doesn't matter what channel, what, what resource they use to do it.

20:39But we need men in the same rooms having conversations, sharing vulnerably on the struggles and sharing on our wins and supporting each other. I think we live in a world that is so negative towards each other. Oftentimes people will see others succeed and it becomes this jealousy or this envy that leads into hate. I mean, I run Facebook ads every day to expand our reach.

21:03I can tell you that we have plenty of hate that comes on these ads, and I don't respond to them. I don't get angry at these people, but I think we need to change the way that the world interacts with each other. And the only way to do that is for men to be surrounded by other men, for women to be surrounded by other women, and be in an environment where we push each other forward, we raise each other up, Uh, and we encourage each other to, to have those vulnerable conversations.

21:30You know, social media has destroyed our world where we all look like everything is great. Um, and it's not. So download the, the Dad Tribes app. That's the first step. Um, if you're listening, download the Dad Tribes app. If you're a woman, if you're a woman who's listening and you say, hey, you know what, my, my partner or my spouse or my boyfriend or fiancé needs to level up and to be called up, not called out.

21:55Download the DadTribe app for him as well and get plugged in, get connected. This is great, man. I love the vision that you have, Andrew. I love that you're not just stopping at a million, you're not just stopping at a few million, you're stopping at, you're not even stopping, you're saying we're gonna get to a billion, we're gonna keep on going. I love that you are mindful of how, you know, social media can paint a picture and it may not always be entirely accurate.

22:20We've gotten really good as a community, as a society, to disagree and to voice our opinions behind the keyboard and be a keyboard warrior, but that doesn't solve anything. It doesn't help anybody. And what we need to learn how to do is learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and being able to understand each other's perspectives, being able to respect others' opinions What good is it to jump on a, on a, on a comment thread and start throwing shade at the, at DadTribe?

22:53I mean, I'm like, I'm, I'm puzzled by the fact that you guys even get hate based on what you're trying to do, and I'm struggling to understand why anyone would want to do that. Um, but anyway, that's just my long-winded rant that I wanted to share with everybody. Hopefully anyone who's listening, uh, knows that this is an opportunity, um, to, to level up, to, to be called up and to be the best version of yourself for your family, for your children, and for the legacy that you're leading.

23:21Well, you know, and talking about that, so just a quick story is, you know, the other day, so my children all work, right? What we did is when we started building DadTribe, I opened an arcade where we live. I live in a rural area of Arkansas where there's not much for the kids to do. And so there was an old arcade. I bought it and opened it up for free to the public.

23:42I put we call it Rhett's Arcade because it's my son's arcade because he's got that entrepreneurial bug. I wanted to show him that you can make an impact and an income at the same time. You don't have to choose one or the other. And so we did that here. But the other day, so my kids work for a living, right? And I'm talking about my 9-year-old and my, my 12-year-old.

24:03They both work and they work for a local cat rescue, cleaning up kitty litter, and they make money, right? My daughter is 9 years old. She's been doing it for a couple of weeks to save up so she could pay a dog groomer to groom her, her little dog. I don't know what kind of dog it is. It's one of those white fluffy ones.

24:21And so she's my princess, but my, my kids always learn the work ethic and to earn what you get. All right. So she worked for weeks to do it. She went to the dog groomer yesterday. She went and told this dog groomer, here's what I want. The dog groomer responded, I'm either shaving her or you can take her and leave. So I guess, you know, the dog's hair was a bit matted.

24:41It wasn't disgusting, but, you know, it was just a rude way of speaking to my 9-year-old daughter. I wasn't there. Her grandmother was with her when this happened. So this morning, what I did is I took my daughter, I put her in the car, and we drove 30 minutes out to go to this dog groomer's office. Now, they weren't there. We're going to go again tomorrow, but I'm going to go have a conversation in person.

25:03And I'm going to request that this person apologizes to my daughter who worked hard to get that. But what I didn't do is I didn't go on Facebook and blast them. I didn't go on Google and leave a negative review. I didn't sit here and try to destroy someone's business. My job as a father and as a man is to show my daughter what to expect from the men in her life, right?

25:24What she needs to expect is to be protected and to be stood up for. And she also needs to learn that there's a possible, uh, opportunity for conflict resolution that doesn't involve being hateful online and trying to destroy someone's livelihood. Right? Even if this woman doesn't end up apologizing to my daughter, it's a learning lesson. But my daughter saw me stand up for her.

25:45She saw me do conflict resolution and she saw I didn't go online and try to destroy someone's entire life because they made a mistake. Before we move on, let me make sure I honor this. Andrew, I know you don't need to be propped up, but gentlemen listening, this is parenthood. This is what fatherhood is. Sitting behind a keyboard like Josh talked about, being a little warrior on blasting somebody online.

26:12We operate small businesses. The majority of us do in this, in this country and 5 0 to 1 star reviews can kill a business for months on end when people are looking at that business and will decide on a yes or no based on reviews. So Andrew, what you were doing is going to impact your kids for a very, very long time in the future, if not their entire life, by putting these moments into, into action and showing them what leadership, integrity, and old school type foundational rules look like.

26:50This is what the world needs, more of this. So man, kudos to you. I know you don't need to be propped up, but I wanted to honor what you just said because it's, uh, it's big and it's needed. Andrew, I'm gonna, I'm gonna piggyback on that because what you also did is you, you're showing your daughter what it's like to, to take time and make time, even when it feels like you don't have any.

27:12Because a lot of people say, what, man, I, I don't have time. I don't have time for this or that. I don't, I don't have time for things. We, we all struggle. With time. We don't feel like we have enough time, but we're all given the same amount of time in any given day, and we can choose to make time for the things that matter.

27:27And what matters is that your daughter sees an example of what a leader is, because that— because what you're doing is you're showing her what a leader really does, which is take action. You're not taking shortcuts. You're making time. You're putting forth time, effort, and energy to do the right thing and to and to communicate the right way. And, and it, you know, could it be a difficult conversation?

27:50It could be, but I have a feeling that the way you're going to be approaching it professionally and respectfully, it's going to turn into a good resolution. I'm just going to assume for the best, and I assume that it's going to turn into a good resolution because you're making time and you're showing your daughter and you're showing that business owner an opportunity as well.

28:08Like, this is a lesson learned for everyone involved, and you're not choosing to take a shortcut and get behind the keyboard and, and put them on blast. You're gonna— you're making time for something that's really important that I would assume that your daughter's not going to forget. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I think it's easy to go and put your camera on and start yelling and, and try to trap someone into saying something negative so you can go put the video and, and get your views and go viral and all that.

28:34What I'm trying to do is, with my children, is to make sure they don't become part of that problem, right? And become part of the solution. So good. Well, hey, speaking of videos, if you're listening to this podcast but you want to see this epic beard on Andrew's face, uh, hey, you gotta, you gotta watch it. You can go to YouTube at The Bearded Leader and you can watch this episode along with plenty others from the Limitless Leadership Podcast.

29:00One of the questions I ask every guest on the podcast, Andrew, is what is the best advice you've ever received from a coach or a mentor? So I'm trying to remember the saying of it. You'll attract, what is it? Something with bees and flies, but there's a, it's, yeah. Yeah. So the way I see it is everything that you built, especially when you start succeeding, you are going to attract the hate and you're going to attract negativity, no matter how positive of a movement you're trying to build.

29:36We get it daily. And what you have to learn to do is to build that shell around yourself. My job is not to try and convince someone who hates Dad Tribes the moment they hear about it to love us. Because I don't care. That is not the audience I'm trying to serve. That is not the man that I'm trying to attract into the movement that we're building.

29:58And my job isn't to parent them. My job isn't to father a grown man into becoming a better man. If he is okay with where he is, maybe one day he'll see the light and solve whatever problem he's having in his life. But we don't spend our time— on my ads, I don't even reply to the comments. Let everybody comment and say everything negative that they want to say.

30:18My job is not to combat that. My job is for the men that do join my movement and do come into my community to make sure they feel welcome, to make sure they have the opportunities that they need to, to connect and find friends. And their life. And I think it's a lot easier said than done. It's taken me years to learn to build that tough exterior shell.

30:38And only allow the people past that shell that deserve to be past that shell. I love it. I think the saying is something along the lines of bees don't waste time trying to convince flies why honey is better than bleep. Yeah, that's it. And the whole point is like, you're not going to be loved by everyone. Some people are not going to see the vision that Brett and I both see in you and DadTribe, and that's okay.

31:05Um, there's, there is a place for everyone, and unfortunately DadTribe may not be that place for that someone, but they, they gotta place somewhere. Um, so I, I, I think that's, that's pretty powerful. Uh, pretty powerful closing statements. Um, Brett, anything you had you, you wanna share? Yeah. The final piece, I mean, this is something you and I are, are starting to recognize and understand.

31:26You're not gonna be going through fierce storms unless you are called for something great. Right? So people are going to continue to hate as you guys continue to build momentum. And I pray, Andrew, that those haters keep fueling you to do more, right? Because the haterade is always going to be real. And when the haterade continues to stay in force, there's a way for us to be able to propel that into positive energy that will continue to fuel and fire up your impact in a much greater way, right?

32:01So you can counteract that with, if you're, if you're like worried about what I'm doing right now, wait till next year, right? Like, because I'm coming swinging next year, right? Right. Yep. Well, and consider that, you know, it's often that you're not going to meet a hater who's doing better than you. Yeah. I mean, that typically the haters are the ones who are looking up.

32:21So just keep that and keep that in mind. Well, hey, speaking of looking up, uh, Andrew, Brett and I both look up to you and what you're doing, man. Incredibly honored, um, that you're on the show, uh, humbled that you're here, and really respect you immensely in what you're doing, what you're building. We believe in it, um, we want to help any way that we can, and, uh, we certainly support the vision that you are casting.

32:44And, um, can't wait to see this thing blast past a million, blast past a billion, and say, hey, remember when When we were watching you grow this thing from the early years and look at it now, I mean, it's pretty incredible what you're doing. So kudos to you for everything you're doing. Kudos to both of you for the leadership path that you're on and the impact that you're trying to make.

33:05And I look forward to the day that I can come out to one of your events and meet you both in person. I've met Brett. I haven't met Josh. Um, but I look forward to attending one of your events so I can, I can meet you and see the impact you're making. In person. Awesome. We look forward to it as well, my friend.

33:22Um, well, hey, thanks for being here and thanks for listening. For those of you who are listening or watching this episode, thanks again for tuning into another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. As you know, we look to transform our leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. So thanks again, everyone. Have a great day. Don't forget to smile today.

33:43Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. I'm Josh Parnell reminding you to keep leading well.