Ep 158: Stop Managing. Start Multiplying Leaders. | Shawn Gilfillan

0:00you start adding people into the, into the game. And I wasn't so good at leading back then, so that was something that I really started putting some focus on. When the leader gets better, everyone, every environment stands the chance to get better. Your job as the owner and leader is to make sure you're not needed and not to get frustrated or aggravated when it becomes a full-time job for you.

0:21You're listening to the Limitless Leadership Podcast, the podcast designed to help automotive repair shops learn how to lead, coach, train, and manage their team better by sharing proven techniques and thought-provoking interviews from industry leaders. Are you ready to transform your leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results? Let's get ready for liftoff. It's time to go from great to greater.

0:47Here's today's episode. Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. This podcast is coming at you live from the Tectonic 2026 conference presented by Techmetric. And, uh, as you know, we, we, we're asking you to like, comment, share, subscribe, do all the things you need to on social media to help this podcast impact people and build leaders just like the leader we have sitting in front of us again live today, Mr.

1:20Sean Gillifan, multi-shop owner, out of New Jersey and a people developer. He— I'm gonna call him a people developer and you're gonna find out why here in a moment. But Sean, thanks for being here, man. Oh, thank you very much for the opportunity to share some stories with you. And as always, Brett Beutler is joining me today as well. Brett, say hi, my friend.

1:38Hello. Okay, thank you. Uh, Sean, if you would, go ahead and share with the audience who you are, what you do, and how you do it. All right, folks, as you know, great leadership isn't about doing everything the best. It's actually about having the right partners in your corner to build your shop success. It's about putting the right team in place. It's about choosing the right vendors to make you a pro, making pro moves.

2:00And when I think about the pros, I think about Shop Marketing Pros. The know, like, and trust factor, that's a real thing. And Shop Marketing Pros understands that. That's why I wanna recommend Shop Marketing Pros to become your marketing partner in your shop. They get to know, like, and trust you and your business to then help your audience get to know, like, and trust you too, and bring your shop to the next level.

2:23So when I talk about making pro moves, this is the kind of move I'm talking about. This is the kind of standard-setting partnership that's gonna elevate your shop. So if you're ready to become a pro in your shop, visit shopmarketingpros.com and partner with the best. Yep, so my name's Sean Gilfillan, I own two shops in New Jersey. One of them I've been in since 2003.

2:46We opened up a full, full maintenance repair shop and really recognizing as I, as I grew, I started out in like a 2,000 square foot shop, had the opportunity to move, you know, 5 years later into a 6,000 square foot shop and realized, holy crap, I don't know how to manage people. You start adding people into the, into the game and I wasn't so good at leading back then.

3:09So that was something that I really started putting some focus on and Getting to know myself better, I think, was the first step to being able to do that. And once I understood my own drive and personality, what was really behind the scenes, you know, in the background running me through the day-to-day, which was, uh, being competitive, always having to be the best tech.

3:28That doesn't do really well when you want to bring good techs on because you always make them not feel like they're good enough. And, uh, you know, just recently, 2022, we opened up a small little maintenance shop to feed some more repair work up to the big shop, which, uh, are about 6 minutes apart. So it's a pretty good, uh, setup. But I've only worked in that shop 3 days out of the almost 3 years we've been open.

3:51So, okay, really exciting to, to have a team built to just walk in the door and open the doors up and just, and have it go. You're already giving the audience a glimpse of what it, what it looks like, what it could look like when you develop people. But you said something that's really important, that is you start with yourself. What are some things that you did to work on yourself, sharpening your axe, leveling up?

4:13What did that look like for you in your own life? I could say that the hardest thing in the beginning was really taking feedback, and I was more of an excuse generator and why it was this way or why I couldn't do that. You know, fortunately, I have a family member, my uncle. He's been doing organizational development, a lot of big pharma companies and stuff like that.

4:33So he actually lent me the money to move into my 6,000-square-foot facility. And when I had the plan how I'm going to pay him back and this is all going to work out, and then it didn't. So I was fortunate he had, uh, one of his consultants come in to start working with me back in 2009, 2010. And, uh, that's where I was really kind of just making excuses why that doesn't work or this doesn't work.

4:57And they're telling me, you got to spend more time in the shop wrenching on the cars. And working on yourself. I'm fine, it's these guys, you know. I was— everything was finger-pointing out. Yeah. And until I really— but the moment it popped for me, I could say, uh, you know, I was back to having one employee where I really needed six and pissed everybody off by not running the show right.

5:20You know, I was very hard to work for and, uh, you know, it was very demanding. And until I really got clear that I could shift my behavior, my language, the way I spoke to people, and really take an interest in their lives versus what I wanted as the result from the shop with the intent to pay back the loan that I had, right?

5:40It got a lot easier. So we kind of almost like restructured the whole business around performance-based metrics, making sure we had the right mindset starting here. Of course. Yep. Right. If, if I knew it was possible, you can get other people to believe in what you're up to. I never really had a clear vision statement back then, and now it really kind of boils down to we take care of people.

6:00We just happen to fix cars. Love that. We are in the people service industry and we're using the vessel of automotive repair to do that. Sean, you just mentioned, you know, I believe that there are 4 primary reasons why teams get held back, which is mindset or belief. That's, that's one. Communication, poor communication, specifically engagement or lack thereof. And then accountability, which is not calling you out, it's calling you up and It starts with self-accountability, but you mentioned mindset and you, you pointed to yourself and say, hey, it starts with me.

6:31Um, again, if you're not watching this episode, you can, you can see Sean in person. We're, we're doing this episode live at Tectonic 2026, again presented by Techmetric, one of the podcast sponsors. Uh, go to YouTube at The Bearded Leader. You can watch this episode amongst many others. Subscribe to the podcast. But let's go back to mindset for a second. How important is mindset for any team member and what, where would you like, what advice would you give to somebody in terms of where they're trying to start?

6:59Like, hey, hey, Josh, that sounds great, but what do you mean when you say mindset? And how do I, how do I change my beliefs, my, my habits, my, my thought processes? Running a shop is hard enough without juggling 5 different tools that don't talk to each other. TechMetric is the all-in-one auto repair platform that brings every part of your business together.

7:16Shop management, payments, and marketing in one place with one login and one team behind you. Your service advisors write estimates faster, your technicians stay focused in the bay, and your customers get a consistent experience every time they walk through the door. And when the day is done, payments reconcile automatically and your marketing runs in the background. No extra work required. That's auto repair done right.

7:37Learn more at techmetric.com or use the link in the show notes. Atlantic Automotive is an alliance of leading auto repair shops. They partner with, invest in, and grow exceptional auto repair shops throughout the US. For shop owners looking to take things to the next level, Atlantic Automotive can help you scale with access to technology, people, growth capital, and operational support. For shop owners looking to transition into something new, Atlantic Automotive provides a trusted home for your business and a responsible steward for your legacy.

8:04Atlantic Automotive is not a franchise, a chain, or private equity group. It is a coalition of like-minded auto repair shops united by a shared vision and shared resources. Atlantic Automotive is a faith-based, family-owned company building the number one automotive partnership organization. If you're interested in partnering, go to atlanticautomotivegroup.com and fill out the Start a Conversation form. Let's see, that's a, that's a long-winded answer that could turn into.

8:30Sure. But really checking yourself. Okay. In the morning, how are you feeling when you walk into the shop and you're frustrated about something? You can't bring that into space. What do you do? I mean, like, let's, let's say, let's say you got some negative energy for whatever reason. How do you, how do you, how do you personally change? Um, usually share with somebody what's going on for me.

8:50Okay. Whether it be my wife, right? I'm actually married, divorced with 3 daughters, and then remarried again. Okay. That was a big— I'd say looking back to mindset, my personal life had a lot to do with the way I was showing up, you know. Married the first time 2007 and 3 daughters, right? Stressful home life and trying to be the provider, bring home, you know, what we needed to, to survive.

9:16And I was just like, I felt like I was working all the time. And, uh, I mean, I was, I was negative all the time. Never felt like I was going to get out from under myself. And, um, I just had to shut it off, right? It's like, holy crap, I'm doing this to myself, you know? And, uh, hey, you got to recognize it.

9:34You got to call yourself out in the mirror. Like, so when, when the leader gets better everyone, every environment stands the chance to get better, right? This is home, which is first, right? That's our first ministry per God's order. And then you get an opportunity to do it at work. So what did it feel like when you knew things started changing for the better?

10:00I guess I could say I was relieved, right? When I, when I could actually take full responsibility for the way I showed up. Versus making an excuse or thinking that I wasn't good enough to get where I wanted to go. Or, you know, you got this big pie-in-the-sky dream, we're gonna get here, we're gonna have 100 shops, or wherever it is, and then just feeling like a failure, right?

10:21Because calling it out there like that and then not being able to go home and feel like I'm winning either, right? So it's like dealing with the internal voice of, you loser, you'll never be good enough, and being able to shift that to like I can make anything happen. You say something, it shows up. Sean, we just met, what, a couple days ago in person?

10:41And, and so we're still learning about each other. I mean, Brett and I are both learning about you on this, on this episode. But I gotta tell you, man, the last few days at this conference, we're on day 3 now. Every time I've seen you here, you got a smile on your face. There's a, there's a left, there's an energy about you that's magnetic.

10:57Like, there's energy about you that is infectious. And I And I do say like, we can— we're contagious. We can either infect or affect, and infect in a negative way. But I'm saying infectious in a positive way with you. Like, there's an energy about you. So first, I want to say kudos to you for showing up the way that you do. If you listen to this podcast before, you've heard me suggest asking yourself the question of, does my team feel the weight of my title, or the energy or influence of your leadership?

11:24And what I'm hearing you say is that almost 20 years ago, your team was feeling the weight of your title. Now I've gotta— I mean, based on what I'm seeing, they're feeling the energy, the influence of your leadership. Um, talk to the listening audience about that in your own life and how you're able to show up this way. Well, I think the, uh, the biggest thing is looking at, uh, having everybody rowing in the same direction, right?

11:48If you're not clear on where you're going or where your team can get to, or even set some kind of strategic roadmap to like, here's where we are, here's what we want to get, and these are all the things that are in the way, right? And, and giving them the opportunity to take on some of that responsibility. Or like you were talking earlier about delegation, right?

12:08I would say I'm not really the best delegator when it comes to having a clear laid-out plan, but it's like, I know exactly where we want to go, that's where we're going to get to, and I'm going to give you guys the wheels, the tools, whatever else you need to get from here to there, and let's go. I coach it up. You're referencing it.

12:28So earlier at the conference, I did a session on communication and delegation, and that's what you're referencing. But you just shared something that's really important. You're, you're not only identifying where you want to go, you're also identifying where you're currently at. Yeah. And as leadership coaches in this industry, I'm, I'm still somewhat surprised by the amount of folks that we work with who not only don't really know where they're trying to get to or where they want to get to, they don't even know where they're at sometimes.

12:53I— yes, I understand. Tell me more. Well, you know, I think of, uh, business as a game, right? And, uh, you want your employees and their families to feel like they're always winning. And I want to feel like a winner because I spent most of my life feeling like I was losing all the time. Yeah. So when that polarity shifted for me, I was pushing that off on the team, on my family.

13:20It's just like, it's like you said, it's like, here, this is how I show up. It's like, I don't care what comes at me, it's just going to happen and we're going to move through it and we're going to get through it and we're going to keep moving forward. I love that analogy about it being a game. I mean, we don't mean that just like it's a game, haha.

13:36You mean it in the sense of you want to see people win? Yeah. Well, look, we got 4 quarters in a year, right? So, and then we have 3 periods in each quarter. So how do we take those months and turn them into good quarters and turn those into good years? And how do we— you know, the one thing I, uh, I point out to my team is like, we're gonna beat last, you know, August.

13:57Well, it's— if we're working on a daily average number, which is always what we're looking at, whether it be the daily average for the month, the daily average for the quarter, the daily average for the year, it's always got to be stepping up. And if it drops down, it's not going to make that big of a difference, but if you got 23 days in August last year and you only got 20 days in August this year, well, you got 3 days.

14:17And I mean, not for nothing, if you're rolling $8,000, $10,000 a day through the door, 3 days is a big nut. Yeah, cover from last year, got some work to do. So really making sure that the game is set up in a way that it's repeatable. It's going to change, there's different numbers of days in a month. And having a team really get like, we couldn't beat last August, but we beat the daily average from last August.

14:39So that's a win. So always looking for how to create— well, I'm gonna say it— create easy ways to win. Yeah, because like, man, if it make it easy, it's like we got this tier and then this tier, we got 5 different levels we can hit. I don't care if we hit level 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, we're still hitting one, we still won that game.

14:55Now how do we get from here to there? And I think breaking down the game into such small bite-sized pieces, like how many cars a day are we going to roll through the shop on average, and how many hours per car are we rolling through the shop on average? And if we just take and add a quarter of an hour a car and an extra car a day, and I do that with 4 or 5 employees each and kind of set their ability to see where it's possible for them.

15:20It's like, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Well, it's not a matter of going from like, you know, $2 million to $3 million. It's only, you know, 3 cars and an extra hour a car a day, and the numbers show up. And it's like, oh, it sounds like a lot more work to go from $2 million to $3 million, but it really isn't.

15:37Yeah, you get them focused on the small bite-sized pieces. We're all rolling in this game called life together, right? Big time. And the most important work we could do is impact people and build leaders, right? So share one of your either latest or most favorite wins you've helped someone else achieve. Lately on your team? And it doesn't have to be KPI-driven. Yeah, no, no.

16:01So, uh, well, there's a couple. Uh, one specifically, I've, uh, you know, over the last 4, 4 years, I had a manager die on a Saturday night. He was running the shop. This is in 2022, carotid artery, 46 years old. And he was running a day-to-day. He was keeping score. That's where the moment I was like, well, I'm leaving for Punta Cana in 2 weeks with my wife and kids.

16:23How's this going to happen? One of my friends, a shop owner local to us, came and ran my shop for 2 weeks. We're using the same software and I was able to go on vacation, right? But during that time, I was looking for somebody else to bring in that had the right mindset. You know, when you're interviewing, you're asking the questions and you feel that energy, right?

16:41Where this guy is going to like get this whole team going. I hired this wonderful manager 2 years ago in April. He just actually— April 15th will be his 2-year anniversary. And he has just, uh, you know, shifted everything in his life. He was working at a Valvoline Quick Lube, um, kind of managing like 7 or 8 stores or whatever. And, uh, he went and started working from home doing some IT stuff and wanted to get back into the automotive space and taking care of people.

17:08And watching him develop as a leader, which you could see it and hear it in them, but just watching him, whether it be books that we're reading together and keep being coachable where, you know, I could see a lot of myself in him. Where if he was frustrated at the way an advisor was performing or not necessarily following through with what needed to be done each day, where he's like, that's it, I'm tired of it.

17:30And it's like, well, hold on, back up a step, because look at the progress that you've been able to make. Like, he was running the store for the first year, and now he's stepped out of that, kind of overseeing both stores, and both stores are operating with his leadership, right? It's kind of more or less he takes his attention off in one place and it's going on the other place and they're both working.

17:49But watching him develop has been, uh, for me, that's been so rewarding. Like you said, leaders grow other leaders. He's creating them below him, right? So we just had a, uh, a technician that I was having a hard time with a few years ago, but great kid. And, um, he's now running the store level at the little shop and, uh, sent me a text message last week.

18:11He says, hey, You know, you'd be proud of me today. That's— well, I'm always proud of you, everything. Like, super proud of you. And, uh, text me back, says, uh, we hit level 1 for the month— level, level 1 for the quarter, level 2 for the month, and we're on pace to keep this up next quarter. He's like, and with all the crap that went on today, after everything calmed down, we had a little chaos going on, I pulled everybody together, we brought up their DiSC profiles, and we shared with them how to communicate with each other because there was some conflict going on in the shop.

18:40And that's what, like, I used to do when he was in the shop. So for him to pull those out and say, hey, look, this is how you need to lead Lauren, this is how you need to talk to Art, and like really kind of went through the steps of— and I wanted to text like, oh, I, I see exactly where I screwed up communicating with her.

18:59And like you said, communication is probably the most important thing. Yeah. And I think As an entire organization, that's what we've really put a lot of focus on, back and forth, and really making sure that when we have something going on internally that we need to get out, like you said, with the frustration, even with me, it's like, I'm just gonna say what's on my mind, let you know how I'm feeling, let you know it's not you, it's here, and it just take responsibility for it.

19:23And it's starting to show up more and more in the organization as that starts to just manifest the way it's going. And that's how I show up. Couple things, Sean. Uh, well, first let me ask you, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna guess, are you a, you're probably an ID. I am. Are you ID? Okay. So I, I see that in you. Um, I, I wanna, I wanna find out, um, how you've been able to use DiSC profiles amongst your team.

19:44I, we find that to be a valuable resource. Uh, we have, uh, one of our coaches is a DiSC certified coach and he helps our clients with, with, uh, uh, helping them understand how this can be utilized. But before we get there, I wanna give you a shout out. You know, we, Brett and I, will often say like, what gets celebrated gets repeated.

20:01And I see you being very intentional with finding the good in potentially the bad, right? You're, you're able to find wins, um, amongst, uh, amongst the challenges. We know that not every day is gonna be a good day, but we can still find the good in every day. Um, so shout out to you for finding the wins and stacking those wins. It's important because when we can find the wins, it really does— there's a mindset shift that we have where we just start viewing things and doing things differently because we're not just so focused on all the negative, the challenging, the obstacles, all the disarray that's gonna come.

20:37Like, we know it's there. Oh yeah. But when the pressure's on, we don't rise to the occasion. We fall to our highest level of preparation, and we can prepare so that we can get more wins, and then we keep on stacking those wins. So I want to give you a shout out there. Now let's shift back to the DISC profiles for a second.

20:50Sure. Speak the listening audience who may not know what DiSC profiles are, but also how you've been able to utilize them amongst your organization. Yeah, so, um, well, we use them on hiring now. Okay. Also, but, uh, I think as a whole, um, there's parts of the report that really give you an opportunity to look at your personality style, right? So we're all made up from all our past experiences, the things that we've been raised, how our parents taught us and treated us, how Like all of it, school teachers.

21:20I mean, I had one school teacher that really made me feel stupid. I was in first grade and I carried that through a lot of my life, not even realizing it until I started to like dig back to like, well, where did this come from? So all those things based on a, you know, profile of questions show up in this report. And, um, we, I mean, we review them at our quarterly meetings, right?

21:39So everybody gets their profile printed out and, you know, we focus on what value they bring to the organization, which is one of the pages, or parts of the report, how to communicate with somebody with that profile and how not to communicate with somebody in that profile. And we just kind of have them go down and like circle the top 3 ways that you either want to or don't want to be communicated with and where you see that you're bringing the value to the organization.

22:03And what I think it does, it just kind of levels up their consciousness of who they are. And, you know, we're all different. I love having people on the front counter that have that high I influence that want to build the relationship. So you get somebody with a high D on the front counter, they're probably going to mow over customers and force sales down our throat, you know.

22:22Um, I— compliance for me, like following the rules, I've never been a rule follower. I break them all, and I usually learn lessons from that. That's Heidi right there. If I'm dealing with somebody that wants me to comply with what I should be doing, it's like I have to really clean that up and make sure that they get like, guess what, if I ever show up that way in our space together, call me out on it.

22:44Yeah, like, because if you don't call me out on it, there's a good chance that I'm not even going to pick up that I did it. So being very transparent and understanding each other from that level of sophistication, I think, is huge and it goes a long way. Like I said, to see that start to show up now without me even being there and I'm getting a text about, hey, you'd be proud of me.

23:03It's like, awesome. Yeah, right. Well, I love your response. Hey, I'm always proud of you, but am I super proud? Like, I like, I like your answer there that you shared with us. Everything I'm hearing, Sean, it's just, it's a testament to your leadership. And again, want to give you some props for you to go from the type of leader you were back in 2007, was it around the time?

23:26Bulldozer. Yeah, to who you are now, man. That's, it's powerful. It's transformational. What does leadership mean to you? How would you answer that question? What does leadership mean to you? Oh man, biggest thing is how many leaders can we stack up in this army, right? So like creating more and always looking at, you know, I think elevating. Um, I'm not looking to be the ultimate leader.

23:51I want to create leaders that are better leaders than I am, powerful, faster than I became, and with less hard work and bruises, right? Yeah, you, you learned the lessons along the way. Now Now let's, uh, of course apply the lessons learned. But, um, I, I wanna go back to something real quick. And Brett, I don't mean to, I mean, if you got something, you jump in.

24:12I'll jump in. Go ahead. I mean, this, this is a good episode. Yeah. And, um, you shared something I don't wanna glaze over. In first grade, you had a teacher that made you feel a certain kind of way, and unfortunately it was a negative kind of way. And a lot of us have experienced something like this where a label was put on ourself years ago.

24:31Maybe it's from us, maybe it's from a teacher, maybe it's from a coach from years ago. Maybe just a lot of times it happens at a young age because our brains aren't fully developed. Like, we're, we're learning, we're growing, but someone says something, they call you a name, they, they say something about you, and they, they have forgotten about what they said 20 minutes later, but we've carried it for 20 years or more, right?

24:58Oh yeah, there's— and then you find the evidence that keeps stacking. That's right on top, because we will always find evidence in the things we believe. There's a poet by the name of NQ, and he says, defining myself is like confining myself, so I undefined myself to find myself. So if I'm breaking this down, defining myself for you— someone made you feel stupid, it's like confining myself, so it, it prompted you to live in this this bubble where you felt a certain kind of way, you likely— because here's the thing: our thoughts dictate feelings, our feelings dictate actions, and our actions dictate results.

25:32You thought something that— and you believed it to be true because she made you— he or she, okay, she, she made you believe that it was true. And one of the greatest mistakes any of us can make is assuming all of our thoughts or beliefs are true. But you thought something, and the feelings that you had likely were a lack of confidence and a specifically a lack of competence.

25:52And the actions you took were indicative of everything that came before it. So you probably didn't take action on certain things because you didn't feel smart enough. Definitely. And by the way, I can relate to the exact same label because I put this on myself years ago. So, uh, some of the audience may not know, I actually graduated high school, uh, 28th in my high school class out of 30 people, Sean.

26:1230 people. So, right, 28 sounds good. It does until you find out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But, but I'll tell you what, man, I put that label on myself And, and so I can relate to that. And, but, but you carried it from a, as a first grader and that's, man, that's tough. You know, you know, the moment, and it's funny cuz we're kind of looping back here, but, um, you know, I didn't feel like I was good enough to even open up my own shop someday.

26:34Mm-hmm. And, um, it's funny, I told you earlier in this today, I, I was married, 3, 3 daughters, successfully divorced. We committed to being, I, I committed to being the most extraordinary ex-husband a woman could ever have. Right. And I've been, I've been doing it. Yeah, right, like full out. Um, and the woman I'm married to now, I met 25 years ago.

26:58And when she left to go away to school, uh, there was something, whatever, that was said. And, you know, I was working at a shop and I interpreted what was going on there was like, oh, this guy's just a loser mechanic, I'm going to get my, uh, you know college degree and all that stuff, and we weren't going to keep the relationship going out of state.

27:18And, uh, you know, in my mind I was like, oh yeah, well, watch this. And that was really that pivotal moment that I started going towards. I'm gonna prove you that I am something. And I went and opened up a shop within the next year, you know. I didn't even know that that was there for me until I really discovered that whole I'm not good enough and I'm stupid story that I was carrying around my whole life.

27:38And, um, you know, 25 years later or whatnot, I get a text message when I'm out in San Francisco standing in a line next to the cable car ready to go up and posted a picture on Facebook. And that girl from college, I guess it was 15 years after, you know, I hadn't talked to her in that long. And, um, she's like, I'm right up the street, we should meet up for a drink.

28:02Well, I'm still with my, my wife at the time. I was like, Oh, whoa, who's that? I'm like, yeah, I haven't talked to her in like 15 years. And, um, it was funny, about a year later, that's when I discovered, like, holy crap, it was when Victoria sent me that message. And I kind of like put two and two together, like she really had something to do with it.

28:22So I reached out and, you know, I just want to thank you for whatever you said that I had like flipped over at that moment. Yeah. And went and opened up my shop, and now we're happily married and best bonus mom I could ever have for my kids. And I mean, we're doing great. That's amazing. So you're talking about getting unstuck, right?

28:39Right. I mean, so many people live in such a dark bubble— Josh alluded to this earlier— that they don't get unstuck from for decades, right? Right. It's a, it's a trauma bond, no matter if it's low-level trauma or big, big-time trauma that you have to lean into. But man, you know what, there's deliverance on the other side of that. When you, when you start working on, you know what, here's the mirror.

29:03The mirror is not on everybody else, it's me. Yep. The leader starts getting better. You work on yourself individually. Absolutely, dude. We talk about it like every world you get a chance and the opportunity to walk into, right? Your home life, here at this conference, your shops. You now have the supreme opportunity to turn that around and, and help everybody else get unstuck.

29:27So I mean, anybody who's listening right now that feels like they cannot get out of there, unstuck, there are stories out here just like Sean's. And, you know, thank you for telling that, man, because it's brave to go back to first grade and talk about— man, there was lots of evidence. You need to get something too. It would probably need like a 3-hour-long podcast to really get into all of that.

29:45Another time, right? Maybe we'll do 4 of them or something then, just finally, finally unpack it. So, I mean, you go back today, you first started, and flash forward to right now. Look back on your old self, give us a synopsis of how that feels. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, I, uh, you know, there was a lot of work that had to go in here.

30:08And, uh, like you said, when the mirror, right, you look in the mirror. And, um, whenever I had been frustrated or pointing something out there, that it's something out there that's causing it, you really got to look at those other three fingers that are pointing back at you. And really realize what, what is it about that that has me frustrated. And usually it's something internal that you don't want to deal with.

30:29So, um, continue to push through the hard stuff and you get to the other side no matter what. It's almost like flipping the polarity, or, you know, if you think of a, uh, back in the day they used to hook the positive battery— like, first time I ever saw like an old 1920 Model A pickup truck, and I'm walking this guy's garage, I'm like, hey, battery's hooked up, the positive's hooked up to the frame in this thing.

30:53This thing's gonna short out. He's like, no, no, that's how they used to do it back then. I'm like, what? I'm kind of thinking in my life, it's like, holy crap, the more power you put out and empower your people, it's like anytime somebody needs a little bit of power or energy, you can just tap at the ground and you're right there.

31:10It's just like a way a PCM works now, right? So it's like looking back at how everything always had energy or power into it, You want something to work. That's how I live my life. So, Sean, uh, you know, I'm gonna ask you to answer this question in a moment, which is, what is the best advice you've ever received from a coach or mentor?

31:29But before you answer that question, think about first grade Sean and where you're at today. What advice would you give to first grade Sean today? It's all made up in your head. That's it, that's it. I made up all the stories and then looking for the evidence. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, easier said than done, right? Oh, totally. I mean, how many of us do this on a daily basis?

31:57I still do it. Yeah, same. I mean, it's like I gotta catch myself. It's like that unlovable one when my wife says something to me a certain way and I have that little thing fire off. It's like, oh, she doesn't love me. I'm like, I just made that up. You got to be conscious of it, right? And Brett, what— sharing it, I think, is the way to keep getting it off of you and like shedding the layers or peeling the onion off is the more times that something like that comes up where you feel disempowered, where you feel not loved, not good enough, not smart enough.

32:22Share it in the moment and really deal with what just had that reaction in your brain fire off and put it on the table with whoever's there. And a lot of times sharing those stories with other people is what really gives them the opportunity to transform it in their own lives. And that's why I feel like I'm, I'm an open book. I'll share anything with you.

32:43I'm very vulnerable and transparent with the things that I've been through, and I think that that's a, a big way that can help. Well, we appreciate your vulnerability and transparency. Um, I think it's a, it's a, it's, it's a, um, it's, it's a better way that we can connect. Brett, what's the question we ask when, when we're thanking something that may not be true?

33:03And the question is, what else Could be, could be true. Yeah, what else could be true? Yeah, this is— yeah, I, I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but, but I didn't know where you're going with it. I mean, the reason being is because like Brett and I, we, we ask ourselves this question quite often, but it's a question we ask in coaching too.

33:17It's a powerful question. We think about something and it just doesn't line up with— like, I, I know that I shouldn't be thinking negatively of myself or having this, you know, level of imposter syndrome for whatever reason. And so I'll ask, I'll ask myself, well, what else could be true? I mean, I, if I'm thinking something that may not line up with the, the, the, the destination I'm trying to achieve, the goal or the standard that I've set, Josh, what else could be true?

33:41Um, it's a, it's a quick paradigm shift that's necessary that a lot of us don't take. Yep. It's gotta catch it in a moment. You got to, or just after when you realize you're still in it. Oh yeah. Hey, I'm powerful. Been going off for the last 5 minutes on this crap, you know? Pause, process, and pivot. Oh, there you go. There you go.

33:59The 3 Ps. The 3 Ps. Yeah. Hey, look, when emotions are high, logic tends to be low. Always. But emotional maturity is having feelings but not letting our feelings have us. Yeah. So in order to regulate our emotions, we pause, we process, we pivot. Speaking of pivot, let's pivot back to the question I asked earlier. What's the best advice you've ever received from a coach or mentor?

34:18Best advice I ever received from a mentor was You ready for this? I'm— I think so. You sure? Don't start cussing. So I was holding back on that. Um, your job as the owner and leader is to make sure you're not needed and not to get frustrated or aggravated when it becomes a full-time job for you. Okay, so thank you for sharing this.

34:45Let's dissect the first part specifically because people are hearing this and they're thinking, whoa, hold— hang on, That's terrifying. Make sure I'm not needed. Tell me more. Oh, well, to, to kind of see where that came from is like, I always felt like I was needed, or if I wasn't needed, what am I going to do? Yeah, right. So, um, you know, every time— what I went through to deliver on that for myself was every time I, I called it my developed traffic log.

35:13So I'd carry a little notebook in my pocket, and every time I was needed for something, I'd write it down. And whose job it was, whether it was mine, somebody else's, whatnot. And after you collect quite a bit of data there, you can kind of look back and almost spills right back into delegation slightly, right? These are all the things that I was needed for.

35:32My job is to get up and out of this thing so that this thing runs on its own, right? That's what we all really went into business for in the first place, so it can make us a nice, uh, healthy living and it can operate. It's a business. Or did I go buy myself a job. Yeah. And I knew definitely that I didn't want the full-time job because, well, that was two full-time jobs every week, right?

35:5280 hours a week. And, um, yeah, I didn't want to be needed, but I wanted to be needed. So it was like an oxymoron. Like, where can I in my life feel like I'm needed that's not in my business? So finding someplace else to really— okay, put that out there was what helped. Am I hearing a bit of an identity shift that you kind of need to make?

36:14If, if you're, if you're trying— like, you recognize, I may not be needed here, but I feel like I need to be needed. Maybe I can be needed elsewhere. Is that— I mean, am I— but what it became was I, I was wanted instead of being needed. Man, drop the mic. Geez. And that's cool, right? Yeah, it's like, it's very cool. Even if it's just coming around, I gotta go in and cook French toast on Fridays and we have a good week.

36:39On Friday morning, I'm whipping up some eggs, flipping some French toast in the thing. Yeah, it's like they want me around. Come on, baby, with some good maple syrup. Hell yeah, homemade, let's go. So shift back over to— don't get frustrated though when it becomes a full-time job. Yeah, so is that seasonality or like at times? Is that what you're referring to?

36:58Whatever it is that shows up, right? Like, so, well, it was the biggest one was when that guy passed away on me on a Sunday, right? Yeah. And I'm going on vacation. I'm like, if I got frustrated and fell right back into that loop of like, I got to go back and manage the shop— by the way, that was during building out the second shop and building our house at the same time.

37:17So I'm like, I got no time. Yeah, that was almost like that thing that really forced me to not fall back in and be needed. I found somebody, you know, within 3 weeks we hired a manager and it just kind of like started to, to work. Yeah. But if my mindset was stuck on, I got to go back and do it, and I'm— I felt trapped or stuck, that's really where the frustration comes from, being stuck back into something that I wanted to work myself out of.

37:44Yeah. Awesome. Uh, Sean Gilfillan. Gilfillan. Gilfillan. Jeez, I, I butchered it. I, I— thanks for being here, man. And hey, shout out to Bill DeBoer. So Bill's the one who connected us. Uh, Bill's a friend of the podcast and a friend of Limitless Leadership. Great guy. Um, and a fellow New Jersey, uh, Billy, go back a ways. Okay. Yeah. Uh, awesome. Well, Sean, thanks again for being here.

38:08Thank you. And, uh, thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Limitless Leadership Podcast. As you know, on every episode, we look to transform our leadership skills by tapping into unrecognized potential to achieve limitless results. So thanks again, everyone. Have a great day. Don't forget to smile today. Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. I'm Josh Parnell and Brett Beitler reminding you to keep Leading well.